Temptation

Recently my department has this keep fit thing going on. Every lunch period we will talk about keeping fit topic such as how to maintain, what not to eat, what to eat, when to eat, when not to eat and so on. I have to admit that I really gain weight and I’ve stop controlling what I ate lately. Maintaining is actually an issue for me. Want me to maintain not eating certain things that’s torturing.

I like chocolate…. Wait…let me rearrange my word. I lovessssss chocolate like mad. There is one year during lent season; I purposely fast for chocolate due to worry that I’ll over addict to it. Well, I’ve successfully done it proudly.

I love chocolate, I love chocolate cake, I love chocolate donut, and I love everything that comes with chocolate. I didn’t realize that I love chocolate so much until a few years back. I started to love chocolate since I was a little girl… as far as I remember, when I was 8 years old I guess. Everything that I choose will always be chocolate. Of course, not those cheap chocolate that taste weird…

For some people, chocolate is a temptation for them. As for me, it’s a luxury. When you ate such an expensive chocolate and you let it melt in your mouth… that moment, you can feel comfort and joy and your stress will all gone for a while. Not forever, but for a while. I guess most of the time I can’t maintain my weight because I love to eat things that will gives extra weight and yet I don’t want to sacrifice it.

You try to look at the picture beside… it is irresistible. How can one man that love this chocolate so much will said no to it.

The worst part is, I will crave for it once a month when my period is around the corner. Terrible??? I think so too….

**Chocolate**

How deep?

It’s another year of Good Friday. Every year of these days, it will be a mourning day. A day where every Christian should remember what God has done for us and should grief for our sin and sorrow for our wrong. In the midst of reminding ourselves, we able to rejoice even more when Sunday comes and Salvation is so real. By His grace, we are who we are today and by His mercy, we are saved.

As for me, I tried to ask myself how much is my love for God. Every time I talk to Him, I’ll tell Him that I love Him. I’ll tell Him that I really love Him that I willing to give up my everything for Him. Today, when the question came into my mind, how much I love Him? Is it giving up my all gives the definition of loving Him so much? If that so, why do I keep giving Him a hard feeling? Could I just give the reason saying that I’m weak and that’s it? I got stuck. How deep is my love? Or how wide could my love go?

Sometimes, love God is so much easier than loving man but there are times as well whereby love man will be much relaxing than loving God.

It’s an opportunity for myself to realize how deep my love can go for Him or how real is my commitment toward Him.

With Him, I learn to love him and with Him, I learn to be willing. Willing to give, willing to take, willing to let go and willing to sacrifice.

In this year of Good Friday, maybe we all can think how deep is your love got Him?

**How deep?**

A grateful one-year

Can’t believe that time flies and it’s been a year that we walk through the journey of being together. I thank God for his grace and mercy for what both of us have gone through. It is only God and us know how we feel when the first year has reached and there are many more years to come.

Every season in our life, we’re together. With a willing or unwilling heart, we promise to be there, to hold on and to endure. Love is never an easy lesson to learn and yet with him, I learn the meaning of unconditional love and I learn how much God has loved me. With a promise that He will not leave me, I promise I will not leave Him also. With this, I learn to love man with absolute love.

We might not get a secured promise from man that they will never change, but originally, security is from God and not from man. Maybe things will change but when I have the opportunity to love and care with my all, I did my best to care and love. That I will not regret in the future.

I cherish, I treasure, I appreciate

**Thank God for the 1st year**

The excitement of our new church

Yesterday we have our Consecration Service in our new church, new building, Faith Christian center. I could not explain how we all felt when the service started, the hymn is sung and music played, people clapping hands with joy in their heart and face. Gratefully we praise and worship Him.

After a long period of giving, struggling, finding, looking, longing…. It is finally here and it is finally done.

The place is awesome. It’s beautiful and magnificent. The cross is shining; people are lifting hands to give Him praise. It’s a marvelous moment, a moment where everyone is longing for.

So happy… we have a beautiful church.

In this gorgeous moment, camera is the only thing you will not bring and yet I forgot to bring my camera after I charge the battery the day before. Doink***

**Excited**

Quarrel

Quarrel will happen when differences opinion are given, support and trust are no longer within them and win or lose is a big matter.

Couples separated due to misunderstand, broke up due to ego and heart broken due to uncompromising. What make a couple last for 50 years and yet they still can bear with one another? What make couple continue to support each other although they might not believe in it? What make them to stay committed? Money? Sex? Or power?

As for me, I’ll say because of God. God is love. So, we learned to love. In journey of learning to love, costs that were paid are uncountable. Patients that have been given are unlimited. Times that they’ve spent are nothing can substitute it. Moment of being together is irreplaceable. Memories will always be a last thing you want to let go.

Love is never easy and yet God never stop loving us. Why should we stop loving?

Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
Always trusts,
Always hopes
Always perseveres.
Love never fails.

**The greatest of all is Love**

Lost

Recently, I felt bored with life. I don’t know why. Seems like everything I did is not right, not useful, not interesting…. I wonder why. I felt bored watching drama series at home; bored with eating the same old meal, same old stall, bored with doing what I am doing now no matter in church or in my work place. I just don’t feel like it. What had happen? I’m still wonder….

Lost of passion? Lost of vision? Or lost of direction?

Am I tired? I am tired of waiting. I am tired of pending but there is nothing much I can do. Since I’ve wait and wait so long, what else do I expect?

Am I tired of serving? I guess I am…

Maybe I don’t feel what people around me are feeling. I did try to find the same feeling and yet I couldn’t get the right sense.

Lord, I’m sorry… I just don’t feel what everyone else is feeling.

**Lost**