I’ve been back to my sweet hometown for past three days now. Life has been good and lazy. I can say that in these three days, what I’ve been doing is, eat, sleep and help my mom. Actually, eat and sleep is that most than helping her. Hahaha… It’s relaxing, it’s refreshing and it makes my lazy. When I lie down on the sofa, having a good and no worry rest, the feelings of being a teenager came back to me. Whereby there is no stress, no worries, and not much have to think how to survive and get myself money for food and necessities. I miss the time so much that all I worry about is just the matter of friends. Are they true friends or not? Will they betray me? Who is my dream man? When will I know that he is from God? That is all I will worry about as a teenager.
Kinda naïve? Hahaha… I am laughing myself inside. Right now, I worked my own food; life is not as easy as before. Every penny that we earn, with hard work and sweat.
The things that I see this time is so much better than the previous time I came back. Maybe I’ve grown older and many things, I understand deeper. I saw changes in my family; I saw my brother now is so much mature than last time. After all he's been through. My dad will open a topic and chat with us rather than we ask him 10 questions, he only answered ‘ya’ for all the questions. Mom is happy with her job coz she found someone that support her. Aunt loves the family with unconditional love and patients. She even spends time with God and read her bible and the daily devotion.
When I realize their changes, I give thanks to God. God answered my prayer. Other than quarreling small things at home, we all have fun together. Laughing around, joking around and fellowshipping together and have meaningful and memorable family time. Thank you Lord… This means much more than money that can give, love, joy and blessing from you.
** Home Sweet Home**
Monday, February 04, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The injury
As I mention from the pervious post, I hurt myself when I first try out to be a motorbike passenger. My leg has accidentally touched the motorbike exhausts and you know what happen….
At first, I thought it should be ok. So, I didn’t apply anything on it until the next day when I show it to my colleague and they advice me to apply something coz it got dark and red. 3 days later, it becomes swollen and there is water inside. I took picture of it coz I think it look cute. People around me saw it and some of them feel so pain for me while some feel so yucky to touch it. It’s not that pain, trust me. I really think it look cute coz I never experience such an incident before.
A week has pass, and it got worst. The water has come out while I was sleeping and it got itchy. The previous skin need to be cut out and it need to wrap so that it won’t get affected. So yesterday onward, I need to go to clinic everyday for the nursing just to make sure that bacteria won’t affect it. Thank God that it’s a panel clinic from my company. If not, I guess I have to pay more than I expect just to get my leg healed.
The way I walk now it’s a bit weird and it started to get really pain. I get sore throat and flu as well. I pray that I’ll recover from all these before I go back to Sabah for Chinese New Year.
May God’s healing be with me.
A serious injury in the first months of the year 2008 so as an experience that I never had before.
**The Injury**
At first, I thought it should be ok. So, I didn’t apply anything on it until the next day when I show it to my colleague and they advice me to apply something coz it got dark and red. 3 days later, it becomes swollen and there is water inside. I took picture of it coz I think it look cute. People around me saw it and some of them feel so pain for me while some feel so yucky to touch it. It’s not that pain, trust me. I really think it look cute coz I never experience such an incident before.
A week has pass, and it got worst. The water has come out while I was sleeping and it got itchy. The previous skin need to be cut out and it need to wrap so that it won’t get affected. So yesterday onward, I need to go to clinic everyday for the nursing just to make sure that bacteria won’t affect it. Thank God that it’s a panel clinic from my company. If not, I guess I have to pay more than I expect just to get my leg healed.
The way I walk now it’s a bit weird and it started to get really pain. I get sore throat and flu as well. I pray that I’ll recover from all these before I go back to Sabah for Chinese New Year.
May God’s healing be with me.
A serious injury in the first months of the year 2008 so as an experience that I never had before.
**The Injury**
Friday, January 25, 2008
Reminder
I just cannot believe that I’m still in the office right now. Normally, 5.15pm I will start to say bye bye to my colleague so as my bosses. But right now, everyone said bye to me and I’m being left alone here trying to finish up my stuff (I still take a few minutes to drop something down).
Working life is tired. I means really tired…should I say becoming human is tired? It’s up to each individual definition I guessed.
Work will never finish. I guessed it would finish when you quit your job. Just now, I was in a meeting. I discovered another human nature reaction that will cause me to think about this whole human nature / sinful act. When my boss started to praise one of my colleague, another colleague of mine will join in and said along that, yeah… I have contribution too. “WE” all did it… Nice to hear, right?
When my boss started to scold, blame session will start to occur. Some said, he is the one that didn’t pass me the latest information, site people is the one to blame, I’m not responsible and the blaming continues as usual.
As for me, I’ll just sit there silently and oversees the whole session begins. I’m not saying that I’m so good that I didn’t blame. I did. Anyway, I’m still human. In that meeting, I just learn that when someone else rebukes me, I’ll learn to calm myself down to listen and to think. If it’s really my fault, I’ll learn to admit and not trying to throw responsibilities away.
Blaming is a very natural reaction. You don’t have to think. It’s like your reflect. When you hold something hot, you’ll throw it away in less than one second without thinking. I guessed that’s the same case when come to blaming. You don’t have to think. Just point it and throw it to someone else will do. What an easy task.
Learn to be more like Christ, is always the toughest journey. Nevertheless, I know I’m not alone.
A short reminder for myself, to not to blame but learns to bear and admit.
**Reminder**
Working life is tired. I means really tired…should I say becoming human is tired? It’s up to each individual definition I guessed.
Work will never finish. I guessed it would finish when you quit your job. Just now, I was in a meeting. I discovered another human nature reaction that will cause me to think about this whole human nature / sinful act. When my boss started to praise one of my colleague, another colleague of mine will join in and said along that, yeah… I have contribution too. “WE” all did it… Nice to hear, right?
When my boss started to scold, blame session will start to occur. Some said, he is the one that didn’t pass me the latest information, site people is the one to blame, I’m not responsible and the blaming continues as usual.
As for me, I’ll just sit there silently and oversees the whole session begins. I’m not saying that I’m so good that I didn’t blame. I did. Anyway, I’m still human. In that meeting, I just learn that when someone else rebukes me, I’ll learn to calm myself down to listen and to think. If it’s really my fault, I’ll learn to admit and not trying to throw responsibilities away.
Blaming is a very natural reaction. You don’t have to think. It’s like your reflect. When you hold something hot, you’ll throw it away in less than one second without thinking. I guessed that’s the same case when come to blaming. You don’t have to think. Just point it and throw it to someone else will do. What an easy task.
Learn to be more like Christ, is always the toughest journey. Nevertheless, I know I’m not alone.
A short reminder for myself, to not to blame but learns to bear and admit.
**Reminder**
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
A thought from a friend
The sky turn dark, thunder sound and the wind started to blow windy while I’m still rushing at my routine job in the office yesterday before the clock tick to 5pm. When the time reaches 5pm… my heart no longer stay in the office. I want to go home… screamed out loud
Since it’s still raining, I just browse through my friends’ blog and read about her day. Everyday I’ll click on her blog to get her latest update and to get her latest information. I just like to read someone else journey of life to reflect myself on certain things.
She started to share about her grown up, her expectation and people’s expectation toward her. The more I read about her thought, I have this thought about her and about the about myself.
After finish my reading, I decided to have a walk back home under the rain. Normally, I took 15 to 20 minutes to walked back to my place but yesterday; I took 30 minutes to reach home. I walked slowly to think about what she wrote and about people’s expectation. I asked myself, have I ever expect something from someone without my conscious? I guess I did. If not, it won’t disturb my emotion.
Expectation… since I have it with someone I guessed that someone will do have the same expectation from me. Did I manage to fulfill what they expect? Who am I to expect what I should get from them? Why will I expect? And the question goes on….
God made us to hunger for love, care and attention. Sometimes, without my realization, I crave for people to love me, to praise me, to care for me and to have their attention on me. I guessed this is why I will shed my tears when I didn’t get what I expect. After all, no one can totally know what your expectation.
With this conclusion, I started to thank God and ask Him to guide my heart. To set my concept right about God’s blessing and to count my blessing and to give Him praises.
Walking back alone with an umbrella is not a bad experience after all. At least, I’m walking with my Nike slipper and it’s comfortable. With a grateful heart, I found reason to give thanks although the sky seems dark and rains drop down from heaven. With this, I learn to give thanks although things don’t come my way.
**************************
On the same day, I experience two different things that I never plan to do. Other than walked myself home under the rain, I get to ride motorcycle all the way from Sunway to Cheras for about 45 minutes. A terrified experience, but I have fun. Get myself a minor injure but I manage to show my love is more than words and to be there whenever I can.
** My thought**
Since it’s still raining, I just browse through my friends’ blog and read about her day. Everyday I’ll click on her blog to get her latest update and to get her latest information. I just like to read someone else journey of life to reflect myself on certain things.
She started to share about her grown up, her expectation and people’s expectation toward her. The more I read about her thought, I have this thought about her and about the about myself.
After finish my reading, I decided to have a walk back home under the rain. Normally, I took 15 to 20 minutes to walked back to my place but yesterday; I took 30 minutes to reach home. I walked slowly to think about what she wrote and about people’s expectation. I asked myself, have I ever expect something from someone without my conscious? I guess I did. If not, it won’t disturb my emotion.
Expectation… since I have it with someone I guessed that someone will do have the same expectation from me. Did I manage to fulfill what they expect? Who am I to expect what I should get from them? Why will I expect? And the question goes on….
God made us to hunger for love, care and attention. Sometimes, without my realization, I crave for people to love me, to praise me, to care for me and to have their attention on me. I guessed this is why I will shed my tears when I didn’t get what I expect. After all, no one can totally know what your expectation.
With this conclusion, I started to thank God and ask Him to guide my heart. To set my concept right about God’s blessing and to count my blessing and to give Him praises.
Walking back alone with an umbrella is not a bad experience after all. At least, I’m walking with my Nike slipper and it’s comfortable. With a grateful heart, I found reason to give thanks although the sky seems dark and rains drop down from heaven. With this, I learn to give thanks although things don’t come my way.
**************************
On the same day, I experience two different things that I never plan to do. Other than walked myself home under the rain, I get to ride motorcycle all the way from Sunway to Cheras for about 45 minutes. A terrified experience, but I have fun. Get myself a minor injure but I manage to show my love is more than words and to be there whenever I can.
** My thought**
Monday, January 07, 2008
Tears...
I’ve been living without Internet for several days now. Life still goes on…
I’ve been down these two days. Maybe period came earlier than expected. Tears shed non-stop and for no reason. I just cried for the sake of crying. Why? Coz I feel like crying, so I did. Ya, I know it’s a bit silly but if I don’t cry when I feel like crying, I guess that’s sillier. I just wanted to express something that word cannot said whereby tears can help me to tell.
My best friend once said that tears are the gift from God. It’s amazing, isn’t it? ? You cry when you feel pain. You cry when you feel sick. You cry when you feel touch. You cry when you feel happy. Crying is not a big deal after all. You just let it out when you feel like it.
I do agree that guys scared when ladies cry. That work very quite well with Danny. Not trying to take things for granted but I just wanted to express when I have no word but tears.
** Tears **
I’ve been down these two days. Maybe period came earlier than expected. Tears shed non-stop and for no reason. I just cried for the sake of crying. Why? Coz I feel like crying, so I did. Ya, I know it’s a bit silly but if I don’t cry when I feel like crying, I guess that’s sillier. I just wanted to express something that word cannot said whereby tears can help me to tell.
My best friend once said that tears are the gift from God. It’s amazing, isn’t it? ? You cry when you feel pain. You cry when you feel sick. You cry when you feel touch. You cry when you feel happy. Crying is not a big deal after all. You just let it out when you feel like it.
I do agree that guys scared when ladies cry. That work very quite well with Danny. Not trying to take things for granted but I just wanted to express when I have no word but tears.
** Tears **
Friday, January 04, 2008
Complicated feelings
Ha chu…. Sneezing… I got flu again. A terrible one…It’s almost 2 am now and I’m still here. Trying to put some words here before I go to rest. My dear housemate has left me with an empty room. How do I feel? I feel a bit weird… complicated feeling.
I’ve been living with her for almost past 2 years. She has been an encourager for me so as a frustrated person for me. Sometimes she treat me like a princess and sometimes she drives me crazy. There is a period of life where she holds on to my hand and we walk together when both of us in pain. The same goes to the time when both of us quarrel for disagreement in discussed issue. Both of us going through joy and sorrow in life, so as bad and good times when either one of us will give cold shoulder when we feel like it. I’ve learned how to admit my fault in front of her and I’ve learned how to accept rebuke and critics from her as well. With the lesson of admitting my own wrong and accepting rebuke taught me to be a person that will face problems and not running away from it. With this, I learn to admit and accept in front of everybody else.
It’s been a blessing that God sent her to be in my life. To accompany to walk through my life darkest time and still love and accept me as whom I am when she knows the ugliest side of me. Not every housemate can do that but God is always good. He knows what He’s doing and God will always send the right person to walk with you. Now that I’ve grow stronger, the journey I will have to continue with God alone. I would like to let her know how much I cherish the time we spent together last time and how much she has became a blessing in my life, no matter financially, materially or spiritually. She has became an impact in my life and a prayer warrior for me. I know I can always count on her when I just need a shoulder, a hand or an ear. Although she is not perfect, but I love her for whom she is. Goodbye my dear… It’s a joy that we one’s spent the moment together. Although things might not be the same anymore, but it kept inside my heart and it’s in the “count of blessing” list.
**Complicated feelings**
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Memorable New Year eve
Before I start anything about New Year… let me share what we’ve did on the New Year eve.
Danny and I plan a small party in our new church with lots of foods. We have some crazy game on to pass the time and everyone laugh like mad on that night. We all have fun and enjoy being with one another.
After a long and tired of laughing games, everyone prepare themselves for fireworks.
A memorable New Year eve and it’s a blessing that we can be with one another, spent some time together and laugh crazily.
**Memorable new year eve**
Danny and I plan a small party in our new church with lots of foods. We have some crazy game on to pass the time and everyone laugh like mad on that night. We all have fun and enjoy being with one another.
After a long and tired of laughing games, everyone prepare themselves for fireworks.A memorable New Year eve and it’s a blessing that we can be with one another, spent some time together and laugh crazily.
**Memorable new year eve**
Monday, December 31, 2007
It’s another one year…
One fine day, as I read back my blog, arranged the photo, memories flies around. Lots of tears, lots of pain, lots of laughter, lots of joy, lots to give thanks, lots I’ve learn, lot of break through in the journey of life and lots of up and down.
In the beginning of the year, I cut my hair… as a sign of new start, new begin, new chapter of life. I guess I’m not going to do that again this year. Our previous cell group has grown larger and larger. From only a few kitten to about 12 peoples. We all have a wonderful time when we used to be that big. Although a bit difficult to manage a lot and care for all of them, there is always something we cannot deny is that, we have terrific time together. Although now left only 5 of us… we still have fun and deeper sharing.
Later on, I went back to my hometown for Chinese New Year celebration. Happily I meet up old friends, spend time with my parents and we have fun there and I went to my friend wedding as well. The first time I spend Valentines Day alone after so many years. Indeed, I feel good, spent my time with Grace and Mic Mic, get a bouquet of Ferrero Rocher from Grace as my Valentines Day gift and also two sunflowers from Danny and Timothy. I guessed spent valentines alone is not that bad after all. I didn’t expect that going back to the place I born will actually tears my heart apart. Most of the place I go, past memories came back to me, scene by scene, places by places. Although its pain going back and seeing all these memories again but God is always good. God knows where I’ve started it and He knows where I should end it. In that place, I surrender and settled what I should give it to God and not carrying it myself.
The breakthrough for me this year was, I went to Genting Highlands alone. I can’t believe that I’ve did it but in fact, I did. One of the biggest fears for me last time is that, being alone. I don’t like to be alone or stay alone. I will feel very lonely. I challenged myself to be alone and went to a place that I’m not familiar with and stay alone and spend time with God alone. It is a good experience and I’ve learn a lot in this trip. Not only that I enjoy of being alone and spending time alone, I find back myself and I find back my focus in life.
Continuously… I started to have feeling for someone else. Started to pray and think about him more and more each day. Started to care for him little bit more and more and without my realization, we’ve fall in love with each other more and more each day. And here is it, I’m in a new relationship. He is special, he is a gift from God, he is cute and I just love and feel comfortable to be with him.
In the middle of the year, we have family camp in our church and we spend 3 nights 4 days in peace heaven near Genting Highlands. This was a great camp. I personally learn a lot about the doctrine of God and live life out with faith. We have this game called games of life. Throughout this game, everyone learned their lesson. From this camp, I able to experience how crushed I was past years and how God has slowly picked me up and mould me to become who He want me to be in the future.
This year, I went to 3 weddings. It’s good to see people getting married. It’s a beautiful occasion with many happy faces and beautiful dresses.
I went to Terengganu for relaxing trip around June…
Parents are here and bringing them around. Have fun spending time with them.
However, 2007 has been a fruitful year for me. Been to many places, learn to relax myself, learn to love, learn to accept, learn to give, learn to share, learn to be a listener and learn to be quiet.
Early of this year, I walked the journey of silence. Whereby no one knows, no one understands and I find myself in the wilderness alone. I prayed, but it was not listened. I cried, but no tear was shed. Most of the time, I’ve been struggling and struggling, waiting and waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Have no idea what I’m struggling about. I choose to endure, I choose to be patient. It takes time to know… and time makes it clearer for me.
Can’t believe that it’s been a year…. I’ve breakthrough… transition period… break down period and stand up period…
I’m excited for next year. It will be another challenging year. Last day of year 2007, with a grateful heart, I give thanks and I count my blessing. Good or bad, it’s from God. Good or bad, I give Him praise. Sorrow or joy, give Him praise. Success or fail, I give Him praise. For He deserve all of our praise. Thank you Lord for this whole year…
**2007**
In the beginning of the year, I cut my hair… as a sign of new start, new begin, new chapter of life. I guess I’m not going to do that again this year. Our previous cell group has grown larger and larger. From only a few kitten to about 12 peoples. We all have a wonderful time when we used to be that big. Although a bit difficult to manage a lot and care for all of them, there is always something we cannot deny is that, we have terrific time together. Although now left only 5 of us… we still have fun and deeper sharing. 
Later on, I went back to my hometown for Chinese New Year celebration. Happily I meet up old friends, spend time with my parents and we have fun there and I went to my friend wedding as well. The first time I spend Valentines Day alone after so many years. Indeed, I feel good, spent my time with Grace and Mic Mic, get a bouquet of Ferrero Rocher from Grace as my Valentines Day gift and also two sunflowers from Danny and Timothy. I guessed spent valentines alone is not that bad after all. I didn’t expect that going back to the place I born will actually tears my heart apart. Most of the place I go, past memories came back to me, scene by scene, places by places. Although its pain going back and seeing all these memories again but God is always good. God knows where I’ve started it and He knows where I should end it. In that place, I surrender and settled what I should give it to God and not carrying it myself.The breakthrough for me this year was, I went to Genting Highlands alone. I can’t believe that I’ve did it but in fact, I did. One of the biggest fears for me last time is that, being alone. I don’t like to be alone or stay alone. I will feel very lonely. I challenged myself to be alone and went to a place that I’m not familiar with and stay alone and spend time with God alone. It is a good experience and I’ve learn a lot in this trip. Not only that I enjoy of being alone and spending time alone, I find back myself and I find back my focus in life.
Continuously… I started to have feeling for someone else. Started to pray and think about him more and more each day. Started to care for him little bit more and more and without my realization, we’ve fall in love with each other more and more each day. And here is it, I’m in a new relationship. He is special, he is a gift from God, he is cute and I just love and feel comfortable to be with him.
In the middle of the year, we have family camp in our church and we spend 3 nights 4 days in peace heaven near Genting Highlands. This was a great camp. I personally learn a lot about the doctrine of God and live life out with faith. We have this game called games of life. Throughout this game, everyone learned their lesson. From this camp, I able to experience how crushed I was past years and how God has slowly picked me up and mould me to become who He want me to be in the future. 
This year, I went to 3 weddings. It’s good to see people getting married. It’s a beautiful occasion with many happy faces and beautiful dresses.
I went to Terengganu for relaxing trip around June…
Parents are here and bringing them around. Have fun spending time with them.
However, 2007 has been a fruitful year for me. Been to many places, learn to relax myself, learn to love, learn to accept, learn to give, learn to share, learn to be a listener and learn to be quiet.
Early of this year, I walked the journey of silence. Whereby no one knows, no one understands and I find myself in the wilderness alone. I prayed, but it was not listened. I cried, but no tear was shed. Most of the time, I’ve been struggling and struggling, waiting and waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Have no idea what I’m struggling about. I choose to endure, I choose to be patient. It takes time to know… and time makes it clearer for me.
Can’t believe that it’s been a year…. I’ve breakthrough… transition period… break down period and stand up period…
I’m excited for next year. It will be another challenging year. Last day of year 2007, with a grateful heart, I give thanks and I count my blessing. Good or bad, it’s from God. Good or bad, I give Him praise. Sorrow or joy, give Him praise. Success or fail, I give Him praise. For He deserve all of our praise. Thank you Lord for this whole year…
**2007**
Friday, December 28, 2007
:)
There is something very special about music. Music can lead you back to the past. Not like back to the future but music can bring you back the moment where you’ve forgot how it feels like. Sometimes, when you heard specific songs, you’ll remember vividly the whole situation such as the moment, the feelings, the atmosphere, the conversation and so on. I guessed that’s the beauty of music.
Some songs will means something to someone while some songs will be their nightmare. As I’m listening to one of the Hillsongs, it leads me back to the place where I thought I’ve forgotten. I still remember clearly why I love that song so much. I guessed I’ve changed. That song no longer in my favorite list.
After not talking to him face to face for almost one and a half year, I thought it will be weird when we talked back. I guessed it’s not that bad after all. We have this opportunity to meet last night and we acted normal so as our conversation. Not a very long conversation but I’m glad that it proves that we can still be friends. I thought I can face him no more for the rest of my life, I was wronged.
God is always good. He knows when the right time is. He knows when is the right time for us to meet and become friends again. I’m happy and so is he. At last, it’s settled.
So as my heart and my emotion.
**:)**
Some songs will means something to someone while some songs will be their nightmare. As I’m listening to one of the Hillsongs, it leads me back to the place where I thought I’ve forgotten. I still remember clearly why I love that song so much. I guessed I’ve changed. That song no longer in my favorite list.
After not talking to him face to face for almost one and a half year, I thought it will be weird when we talked back. I guessed it’s not that bad after all. We have this opportunity to meet last night and we acted normal so as our conversation. Not a very long conversation but I’m glad that it proves that we can still be friends. I thought I can face him no more for the rest of my life, I was wronged.
God is always good. He knows when the right time is. He knows when is the right time for us to meet and become friends again. I’m happy and so is he. At last, it’s settled.
So as my heart and my emotion.
**:)**
New building
22.12.07 – The first Saturday night service in FCC new building.
I’m excited and I have fun helping around. Although not much visual memories are captured but those who went to help will agreed with me that we have fun and have fellowship.
The building nice, the room is medium size, can’t really fit in all and we are looking for the sanctuary to be done and have our worship there.
New Year coming, new building ready… next year, will be an excited year.
**New Building**
Thursday, December 27, 2007
It’s the last day of the old building
Every one of us in FCC is very excited for this new church. After a few years of praying and giving, at last… we have our own building. We are moving to our new building. I, myself is very excited for this new building that belong to us. It’s really a very meaningful moment whereby the values are undefined. Money couldn’t buy these moments. Every one of us prayed and gives thanks to God for his grace and mercy.
I sat there, memories flash back… giving thanks to God and with a grateful heart; I started to count my blessing. People around me take pictures to try to grab the moment so that they’ll remember and hope that they will always remember this moment. This is life… not about riches and power... It’s about the moment. Where you’ll stop the time to think and give thanks.
Mixed feeling is all I can feel. Happy… sad… excited… fearful…grateful…
Happy coz we’re moving forward… sad coz I have to push myself to move forward, my past will be my past… excited coz there will be more to do, more to learn, more to serve… fearful coz I scared I couldn’t give the best to Him… grateful coz He is faithful… never leave us no matter how poor and how suffer we are.
Can’t wait for this new building and in the other hand, it’s sad to let go what we used to have in the old building. In this church, I grown, I shaped, I molded, I learned, I enjoyed, I endured, I become stronger and I’m clearer.
With everything that we have, we give thanks.
**FCC, the best place to be**
Monday, November 26, 2007
24.11.07
A beautiful day….
Wake up at 8.15am… feel excited. Will they come early? Should I prepare now? What should I do now? What’s the first thing I need to prepare?
Give Grace a phone call and asked her who else will be ushering later? Sms a few people, to make sure they reach on time.
Get myself ready for a bath, do mask, get my hair done, jewelry on, make up on and prepare to go out. With an excited heart I prayed to God. Saying good morning to Him… Telling Him this is the day… it’s a beautiful day. Pray that everything will be smooth and I can do the best for them. Pray also that I able to enjoy myself and have fun.
Reach church 10.00am, went around searching for Grace. Wait for the rest of the usher to come and start briefing them what to do. Everyone look pretty and the groom looks happy. With his best suit, he gives the best smile.
Relative started to come… fellowshipping around. I heard lots of laughing and lots of sharing. They enjoy themselves and so do us that help around and rush around just to make things better.
It’s 10.45am, the groom prepared himself. He stood in front of the altar, facing pastor and wait for his bride. We get people sat down and prepare ourselves for the bride.
Clock tick 11.15am, the bride is here. She looks beautiful and I told her that she looks awesome. The wedding march start to played, she holds her father hand and walk down the aisle like a princess.
Everyone stood up… give their smile to her and from their eyes, they tell her that she’s beautiful.
The wedding service started…. Piano was played… people singing songs to give thanks to God. God’s word was read out by the groom sister’s, sermon was preached, they vowed before each other and before God, exchanged of wedding rings, the groom kissed the bride and they are pronounced as husband and wife.
Tears in my eyes, joy in my heart… after a long journey of being together, they’ve finally married. I understand how it feels and I know how happy they are. After 10 years, they finally married. I’m extremely happy.
After the wedding, we have our own fun too… taking picture around, hang out together and fellowship with one another.
Congratulation Desmond and Flora…. May God’s love be with you guys that the love for one another will get deeper and deeper as you guys spend everyday together and grow old together.
** So happy for them**
Monday, November 12, 2007
Love the giver, not the gift
It’s been a while that I’ve stopped the habit of dropping things down because most of the time I have no word from my mind. I have bunch of feelings and the feelings flying here and there and yet I just couldn’t find a word to express what I wanted to said or feel.
Today, I have a few words that I would love to drop it down. Love the giver not the gift. Unconsciously, I’ve love the gift more than I love the giver. I’ve sees my gift more important than I sees the giver. I thought that this is what He wants me to do, but He asks me to let go. For it is not my will but His be done.
Maybe I’ve stop the habit of writing too long, I have difficulties in finding words.
From that day onward, I see things more clearly, I know the time that I’ve waited is not wasted and I know things will be more and more excited. I know why, I know how and I know which stand I should stand.
Again, after all… May Your will be done in my life.
**Love the giver, not the gift**
Today, I have a few words that I would love to drop it down. Love the giver not the gift. Unconsciously, I’ve love the gift more than I love the giver. I’ve sees my gift more important than I sees the giver. I thought that this is what He wants me to do, but He asks me to let go. For it is not my will but His be done.
Maybe I’ve stop the habit of writing too long, I have difficulties in finding words.
From that day onward, I see things more clearly, I know the time that I’ve waited is not wasted and I know things will be more and more excited. I know why, I know how and I know which stand I should stand.
Again, after all… May Your will be done in my life.
**Love the giver, not the gift**
Friday, October 19, 2007
Changes
I believe that everyone hate changes. No matter small changes or big changes, we just hate it. Change of plan, change of lifestyle, change of practice culture, and change of anything… I hate it.
Recently, I’ve been through another transition period again. I hate transition period but out of control, I just have to face it because with all these kind of transition moment, I learned to be a better person, a stronger person and a mature person.
Life has been different since a bigger us separate into a smaller us. Life has been different; circle of friends has been different, focus has been different. The way of sharing has been dissimilar as well. Hmm… should I say expected? If I’ve not expected, I wonder why I cried so hard last time?
I believe that one of the tough things that people will agreed with me is to maintain certain thing or certain relationship. Maintaining is tough. To keep everything warm and just as the way it is is tough. Anyhow, this is not one-way street and we are not living in as island all by ourselves. We’re living in a world filled with special people – special people that are so unique that ones you lost it, you will never find them back. Everything comes with two ways. Give and take.
I tried so hard to keep things the way it is and to keep everything and everyone warm. But last night, I realize that I’m only an ordinary lady living in an ordinary room with an ordinary lifestyle together with my ordinary boyfriend worshipping our extraordinary God. Yes, I did mention that everyone is special. I didn’t say I’m not special. I am special too and so as my boyfriend.
What I wanted to say is that, I’m tired because I’m just a human. Trying to stop everything is really out of my ability. It’s like, me… just a small me trying to stop the world from turning. This is impossible.
Last night, I realize that I am weak again. That I need my strong God and I need Him to be magnify. Be magnify my Lord, that I can overcome this transition period and I able to see you again.
An interesting book of life that closing a chapter soon and will open another chapter again. May God be with me.
**Changes**
Recently, I’ve been through another transition period again. I hate transition period but out of control, I just have to face it because with all these kind of transition moment, I learned to be a better person, a stronger person and a mature person.
Life has been different since a bigger us separate into a smaller us. Life has been different; circle of friends has been different, focus has been different. The way of sharing has been dissimilar as well. Hmm… should I say expected? If I’ve not expected, I wonder why I cried so hard last time?
I believe that one of the tough things that people will agreed with me is to maintain certain thing or certain relationship. Maintaining is tough. To keep everything warm and just as the way it is is tough. Anyhow, this is not one-way street and we are not living in as island all by ourselves. We’re living in a world filled with special people – special people that are so unique that ones you lost it, you will never find them back. Everything comes with two ways. Give and take.
I tried so hard to keep things the way it is and to keep everything and everyone warm. But last night, I realize that I’m only an ordinary lady living in an ordinary room with an ordinary lifestyle together with my ordinary boyfriend worshipping our extraordinary God. Yes, I did mention that everyone is special. I didn’t say I’m not special. I am special too and so as my boyfriend.
What I wanted to say is that, I’m tired because I’m just a human. Trying to stop everything is really out of my ability. It’s like, me… just a small me trying to stop the world from turning. This is impossible.
Last night, I realize that I am weak again. That I need my strong God and I need Him to be magnify. Be magnify my Lord, that I can overcome this transition period and I able to see you again.
An interesting book of life that closing a chapter soon and will open another chapter again. May God be with me.
**Changes**
Today's prayer
Lord, grant me grace throughout this day
To walk the straight and narrow way,
To do whatever in Thy sight
Is good and perfect, just and right.
Amen
**Today's prayer**
To walk the straight and narrow way,
To do whatever in Thy sight
Is good and perfect, just and right.
Amen
**Today's prayer**
Sunday, October 14, 2007
My Raya days…
Selamat Hari Raya for those who celebrate their Raya and happy holidays for those who celebrate holidays. I’m the one that celebrate the holidays. Well, holidays suppose to be a fun and excited moment for working people. I look forward to these days so much. If I’m not mistaken, I started to plan this coming holidays around June 07. Low and behold, I spend most of my holidays at home. House mate went back to hometown, boyfriend working, best friend busy accompany someone else….
Last Friday, my company gave us bonus leave. So, I have one day bonus leave. From Friday onward, I started to stay at home till today. It’s bored but interestingly, I almost manage to finish 40 episode hong kong drama series. With nothing to do at home, I guess watch drama is something that I can do and I can learn from.
About this drama series, it’s about a big family that is so rich. As normal story line, rich family will always have two wives. One is a kind wife, while the other one is an evil wife. Like always, the evil one is always the one with many plans that try to take all the family properties.
With this kind of storyline, there are lots of morals and things that can reflect in our life so that we can learn. As for me, there are several things that I will thank God for after I watched this drama series.
Thank God that I am not from a rich family. With all the wealth, many problems will occurs. I thank God that I don’t have a rich family boyfriend too. With great wealth, always come great responsibilities. That is why, God is always fair.
Anyhow, that’s my few days holiday. A bit boring, lots of waiting, lots of watching hong kong drama series and spend some time with God. That’s my Raya days…
**My days**
Last Friday, my company gave us bonus leave. So, I have one day bonus leave. From Friday onward, I started to stay at home till today. It’s bored but interestingly, I almost manage to finish 40 episode hong kong drama series. With nothing to do at home, I guess watch drama is something that I can do and I can learn from.
About this drama series, it’s about a big family that is so rich. As normal story line, rich family will always have two wives. One is a kind wife, while the other one is an evil wife. Like always, the evil one is always the one with many plans that try to take all the family properties.
With this kind of storyline, there are lots of morals and things that can reflect in our life so that we can learn. As for me, there are several things that I will thank God for after I watched this drama series.
Thank God that I am not from a rich family. With all the wealth, many problems will occurs. I thank God that I don’t have a rich family boyfriend too. With great wealth, always come great responsibilities. That is why, God is always fair.
Anyhow, that’s my few days holiday. A bit boring, lots of waiting, lots of watching hong kong drama series and spend some time with God. That’s my Raya days…
**My days**
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Cute
God You make me smile (Hillsong kids)
Verse 1:
God You make me smile as I look to You
And I never thought life could be so cool
I'm so free to be me
Verse 2:
We're a generation who will live for You
Nothing's gonna stop us from loviong You
We believe in Jesus
Pre-Chorus:
Life is fun, and I'm so happy You're my friend and King
Chorus:
I raise my hands to praise Your Name
I am not ashamed, praise Your Name, Jesus
A very cute song. If you imagine all the kids sing this song with their cute expression, not only God make them smile, they make God smile too. It’s just so cute.
I like this song… Simple, meaningful and cute for kids.
**Cute**
Verse 1:
God You make me smile as I look to You
And I never thought life could be so cool
I'm so free to be me
Verse 2:
We're a generation who will live for You
Nothing's gonna stop us from loviong You
We believe in Jesus
Pre-Chorus:
Life is fun, and I'm so happy You're my friend and King
Chorus:
I raise my hands to praise Your Name
I am not ashamed, praise Your Name, Jesus
A very cute song. If you imagine all the kids sing this song with their cute expression, not only God make them smile, they make God smile too. It’s just so cute.
I like this song… Simple, meaningful and cute for kids.
**Cute**
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Faith like child
Many times in life, I forget how to trust fully and have faith like child. It always brings God a smile when kids prayed. From the below picture, I know why. Even I myself will also have a good laugh about how naïve and how true they are.
Being kids is always the best part in life. You don’t have to hide, don’t have to fake and no one will judge your motive because you’re just a kid. Being genuine is what kids will do.
Like I said, growing up is pain. There are many choices, many decisions to make. I pray for faith like child. For a child will trust fully and will not doubt because they know who loves them the most.
**Faith like child**
Waiting...
These two weeks, my time seems to be slow. I wonder why. Works still have loads and loads to do. Books still have tons and tons to read and the time seems to be slightly slower. I guess all the while, I’ve been waiting. Wait for someone to come home and to be with me, wait for myself to be happy, wait for time to get things done, wait for friends to have fellowship together, wait for financially to be staple and the lists goes on.
It’s always about choices… yes I know. I choose to be happy and I choose to be myself. In fact, I choose to become someone better. Better than myself. But recently, I feel that what I should do, I’ve did it. What’s next?
I don’t believe that life will stuck in some where and you started to ask what’s next. I guess, I started to realize it now and I started to ask, what’s next?
I know my next step and I’m walking my next step. The things that frustrated me the most I guess should be waiting. I wait and wait and wait. Wait for loves one, wait for future, wait for myself, and even wait for God. Now, I know what the true meaning of waiting is.
Do you have any idea what am I trying to said? When I read back…I don’t know what I want to express as well. But I know God understand how I feel. Everyday, I wait for Him, everyday, He shape me to become someone He want me to be. I guess now, I’m waiting for myself. So complicated and yet, writing it down is always the best choice.
May God help me to wait as I wait faithfully and patiently.
**Wait with faith**
It’s always about choices… yes I know. I choose to be happy and I choose to be myself. In fact, I choose to become someone better. Better than myself. But recently, I feel that what I should do, I’ve did it. What’s next?
I don’t believe that life will stuck in some where and you started to ask what’s next. I guess, I started to realize it now and I started to ask, what’s next?
I know my next step and I’m walking my next step. The things that frustrated me the most I guess should be waiting. I wait and wait and wait. Wait for loves one, wait for future, wait for myself, and even wait for God. Now, I know what the true meaning of waiting is.
Do you have any idea what am I trying to said? When I read back…I don’t know what I want to express as well. But I know God understand how I feel. Everyday, I wait for Him, everyday, He shape me to become someone He want me to be. I guess now, I’m waiting for myself. So complicated and yet, writing it down is always the best choice.
May God help me to wait as I wait faithfully and patiently.
**Wait with faith**
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
I’ve been lazy
I’ve been very lazy lately. Anyhow, no matter how lazy am I, I still clean my room twice a week. Well, I guess I am lazy in different area then.
I’m lazy to read books, lazy to sleep (sleep also lazy, what happen to me?), lazy to work, lazy to pray, lazy to talk, lazy to type blog, lazy to be hardworking and the lists goes on.
It’s been awhile that I left this blog of mine. Well, I guess after I finish typing all these lazy things out, I have to pick myself up again and work things out.
Today is 2nd October. Another 3 months, we’ll have another new year, 2008. I better prepare myself for 2008 coz I’m getting old. There is lots of stuff I want to do and I want to achieve. Weakness, lazy… May God have mercy on me and strengthen me again.
I’m lazy to read books, lazy to sleep (sleep also lazy, what happen to me?), lazy to work, lazy to pray, lazy to talk, lazy to type blog, lazy to be hardworking and the lists goes on.
It’s been awhile that I left this blog of mine. Well, I guess after I finish typing all these lazy things out, I have to pick myself up again and work things out.
Today is 2nd October. Another 3 months, we’ll have another new year, 2008. I better prepare myself for 2008 coz I’m getting old. There is lots of stuff I want to do and I want to achieve. Weakness, lazy… May God have mercy on me and strengthen me again.
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