Last night, Danny and I have this “what if” discussion. Well, it’s not really a discussion. It’s more a story telling by him. He asked me, have you ever though about what your life will be if in the beginning, you choose something else instead of the life that you have now? I answered him, hmm…. I never really thought about it because since I was a small kid, people around me taught me that my life is in God’s hand and He has everything in control and He has a plan for me. Basically, I never thought what if this or what if that. I have the mind set of God already has everything planned well.
Later on, he continued his story. He ponders around about what his life will be if in the beginning he chooses TARC instead of APIT? According to him, he might not come to FCC, might not know Christ and might not accept Him as his personal savior, might be a gangster that still hang around finding the purpose of life, might not know all his friends and might not know me and further down our relationship.
Today, as usual, I wake up early, prepare myself to work and talk to God for a while. Normal working moment while I keep my media player on with a song title, You’re everything to me by Avalon. That’s a nice song. Shortly, my mind started to wonder around and I think back what we’ve discussed last night. What will my life be if I don’t have God? If I don’t have my church friends? What will my life be if in the beginning, I choose to stay in Sabah instead of coming to KL? What will my life be? Will I stop growing in maturity in my spiritual life and my thought? Will I still be my parent’s baby? Will I still hang out with the same group of people? Will I regret of choosing to stay in Sabah? I never know what my life will be if I choose to stay in Sabah last time. I think that if I don’t have God in my life, I will be lost and living in a life that have no purpose and meaning at all.
I never know what my life will be if I choose to stay in Sabah last time. I will never know what my life will be if God is not the center of me. But I rather not to try this experience. The biggest fear that I have, not about insect or animal, but when I don’t have God with me, looking at me each day and giving me His everlasting love. The biggest fear that I have is that, when I wake up, I release that God is not with me. Anyway, I know this will not happen because God is always with me. J This is what He has promised.
Everything happened for a purpose, a reason. We’ll never know what is the reason until we step in and trust God. Step by step, He will let us see things clearer. Life darkest time happen so that you can see God brightest light that lead you over where there is rainbow waiting for you.
** Everything happen for a reason **
Monday, July 30, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
All for Him
Yesterday is the last day that I practice dance together with the Chinese team as they are going to Labuan and Beafort this coming Wednesday. Throughout this whole one month plus, I learn a lot of things from them and from a Chinese culture point of view. Today, I strict them to dance properly, filled with passion and concentration, and to stressed them to dance the best for God. Indeed, they did a very good job for Him. I am so happy and satisfied. As I always encourage them, we serve God, is not about the skills or talents…. But it’s all about the heart. So, I don’t really care how many talents or gift that one person has. If he or she don’t have any talents but he or she have this heart to dance for God, I believe God will used him or her, and I willing to spare time to train him or her up with patient. After all, this is what I’ve been called to do. God sees our heart. If God can use me for His kingdom, why can’t He use you for His kingdom? After all, I am no body in front of Him.Talked about the matter of heart, today when I witness their rehearsal, God reminded me a lot of things. At first, He reminded me the issue about serving Him with our heart. Many of them are nobody; not a skillful people or a celebrity but God remind me that, what he wants from us is not our talents but our heart. A pure and faithful heart, a righteous and willing heart to be used by Him. If we compare the event that held outside the church, maybe it’s not as good quality as it should be. But if God want to choose, He would choose a humble servant that gives all the glory to Him and not to themselves alone.
I see great people with great vision and with a big heart that willingly used by God. I prayed that this trip of theirs, they able to impact people’s life and lift His name up high.
Secondly, God reminded me how much he care and love me. From the drama that they performed title, Fathers love. Again, I rededicate myself to my heavenly father and I said I’m sorry that I’ve hurt Him a lot. He never gives up and never stops loving me. I prayed that I would only love Him the most for the rest of my life because what I gain, is more than what I worth gaining.
**Bring me back**
Friday, July 20, 2007
20.07.2007
When you looked into the calendar, beside 07/07/07 is a beautiful date; 20.07.2007 also consider a beautiful date. Double figure 2007 in one day. Nice? I think it’s beautiful. What make 20.07.2007 so special? As for me, a day to be reminded how God has bless me and bring me through difficulties that I have to go through and how much I should thank Him and love Him in return.
I’m pleased and grateful for what he has done for me, effort that he has paid, time that he has shared, joy that he brought into my life, sadness that he has shown to let me know him more, knowledge that he learn and teach me with patient, word of encouragement and affirmation to affirm me over and over again and love that he has given to prove me with every deed that he work things out.
People said that the beginning of everything is filled with passion. I prayed that this passion would continue to be strong until eternity.
Guide our heart and mind as we continue to walk in the path that you have for us. May Your kingdom come, Your will be done. Amen.
**20072007**
Thursday, July 19, 2007
A reminded passage
As I watch back the previous chapter of friends (which is my favorites), again I realize that people move on with their life and things are never the same any more no matter how much I wish it will never change.
This few days, I get very disappointed the word “friendship”. As I was thinking this pass few days, what is the true meaning of friendship? What it is? What I’ve done?
I give, I paid, I spend, I loved, and I accepted… what else do you want from me?
Until a point that I told myself, whatever it is… I’ve did my part as a friend. I give up.
I know this sound very sad but I have really run out of idea. I don’t know what else I can do. No matter what I did, everything seems to be wrong. Miscommunication, my fault, I shared, no trust was gain, I loved, being comment as loved blindly. What on earth have I done? Why things that I did, people keep giving me comment that are not from me and yet from their point of view. Have problem with me, discuss with someone else. What is that? I’m tired.
Until today, the words of God remind me again when I read this passage:
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 27:10-16
"Do not forsake your friend '" (v.10)
Stay loyal and loving to your friends as far as you possibly can. I say "as far as you possibly can" because they may commit and continue in some sin - such as adultery - and this demands action by the church as described in Matthew 18.
Discipline may have to be given and you have to be willing to be part of that by withdrawing from that friendship until repentance is demonstrated. Loyalty and love in this case would mean continuing in prayer for your friend - prayer, by the way, that may take hours, not minutes. The opposite of friendship is - isolation.
And how much emotional damage is the result of that? "The world is so empty," said Goethe, "if one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities, but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us and, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth an inhabited garden." God made us for relationships and it is His will and purpose that we cultivate a circle of friends. Every friend is different. No one has a double in friendship. The more we have, the richer we are. Dr. Lawrence Crabb says, "Every day we ought to move out from our base in the home and say to ourselves: Lord, help me reach out and touch someone deep in their being today, not for the rewards it brings me in terms of good feelings, but for the blessing I can be to them." Jesus lived and acted like this. Perhaps this is why they called Him "the Friend of sinners." He hated sin, but loved the sinner.
Prayer:
Father, one thing is clear - the wise are those who know how to make friends. Guide me in my future days so that in every relationship I may be able to apply some of the principles I have learned. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
From that passage, I repent and ask God to give me strength and patience to love again. What I got from the word of His is, Stay loyal and loving to your friends as far as you possibly can. I know it’s hard but very good relationship bears with pain and hurt. Every good things endure suffering. May God strengthen me again.
**Friends is my thing**
This few days, I get very disappointed the word “friendship”. As I was thinking this pass few days, what is the true meaning of friendship? What it is? What I’ve done?
I give, I paid, I spend, I loved, and I accepted… what else do you want from me?
Until a point that I told myself, whatever it is… I’ve did my part as a friend. I give up.
I know this sound very sad but I have really run out of idea. I don’t know what else I can do. No matter what I did, everything seems to be wrong. Miscommunication, my fault, I shared, no trust was gain, I loved, being comment as loved blindly. What on earth have I done? Why things that I did, people keep giving me comment that are not from me and yet from their point of view. Have problem with me, discuss with someone else. What is that? I’m tired.
Until today, the words of God remind me again when I read this passage:
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 27:10-16
"Do not forsake your friend '" (v.10)
Stay loyal and loving to your friends as far as you possibly can. I say "as far as you possibly can" because they may commit and continue in some sin - such as adultery - and this demands action by the church as described in Matthew 18.
Discipline may have to be given and you have to be willing to be part of that by withdrawing from that friendship until repentance is demonstrated. Loyalty and love in this case would mean continuing in prayer for your friend - prayer, by the way, that may take hours, not minutes. The opposite of friendship is - isolation.
And how much emotional damage is the result of that? "The world is so empty," said Goethe, "if one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities, but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us and, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth an inhabited garden." God made us for relationships and it is His will and purpose that we cultivate a circle of friends. Every friend is different. No one has a double in friendship. The more we have, the richer we are. Dr. Lawrence Crabb says, "Every day we ought to move out from our base in the home and say to ourselves: Lord, help me reach out and touch someone deep in their being today, not for the rewards it brings me in terms of good feelings, but for the blessing I can be to them." Jesus lived and acted like this. Perhaps this is why they called Him "the Friend of sinners." He hated sin, but loved the sinner.
Prayer:
Father, one thing is clear - the wise are those who know how to make friends. Guide me in my future days so that in every relationship I may be able to apply some of the principles I have learned. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
From that passage, I repent and ask God to give me strength and patience to love again. What I got from the word of His is, Stay loyal and loving to your friends as far as you possibly can. I know it’s hard but very good relationship bears with pain and hurt. Every good things endure suffering. May God strengthen me again.
**Friends is my thing**
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Dore birthday !!!
Happy Birthday to a lovely brother of us. May God grand you wisdom in your path, love among people around you and health that keep you strong for His kingdom. A nice and funny guy that came all the way from Labuan and speaks three language in one statement. When I listen to what he said, I can only have one word, CUTE. How can people speak all together three languages? Most of the time when he speak with “the labuan gang”, the whole conversation will include, Malay, English and Hakka. Weird right? But I think it’s cute. I am learning that as well… Hihihihi…One thing that make everyone very happy is that, we’ve successfully throw him into the swimming pool… That is cool.
**Blessed Birthday**
Friday, July 13, 2007
Till we see again
Goodbye my dear friend. A lovely and kind-hearted guy has just left us to continue his journey in a land that filled with chocolate and liquid. Definitely, I will feel sad because he is one of my closes friends that willing to help me when I need his hand.
I gonna miss him much. It’s kinda weird when I don’t get to see him in church and seeing him bully someone else. Hihihihih…. (Well, he is kind, but he likes to bully people too).
To be frankly, last time I don’t really have good impression about him. First of all, I think that he don’t know how to control his tongue. He talks whatever he wants without words crossing his mind. Slowly, when we get closer and I get to know him more, I knew that God have changed him and we started to give each other a chance to know one another before we jump into a fast conclusion. Well, things came out differently and now I am sad because he will leave us. In fact, it’s a joy because he leave us to do what God has called him to do and I can only prayed that he will touch many people’s life and change theirs life as well.
On 7th July 2007, a meaningful day. Many couple chooses that day to make the biggest decision in life. Congratulate to the new bride and groom, Jean and Sio Yean. At last, they are married. So happy for them. Beside a big day for couple, it’s also a big day for a dear friend of mine because it’s his graduation day. I took one day off to attend his big day because I knew that this mean a lot to him. At first, he got very upset with no one attending his convocation. His parents are not coming, and his cell leader couldn’t make it and he gets very frustrated with it. So, with a kind hearted me, I offer myself to witness this meaningful day of his.
Seeing him prepared himself in the convocation, taking the cert and coming out from the hall, it’s very meaningful and costly. Like this, he has to begin his new journey in working life. Working life is always sucks. Not as pretty as students life. Anyhow, I’m glad that he has successfully done his duty as a student and continues his life with other chapters. Here, I wish him all the best. May God guide his path and be with him. We will surely miss you.
**Never forget me**
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Love with action
Love with action is something that it’s easier to say than do. Well, saying is always the easiest. Last night, I’m being reminded that love is all about action but not the word that come out from someone’s mouth.
Human is not perfect and they come with one package of weakness and strength. When you said that you love someone, you take the whole package of him/her. Good or bad, we bear for one another.
Sometimes, there are only fear and doubt in my mind when something doesn’t seem right. But last night, I’m being reminded again that, I should always remember what he did for me and hold on to it tight enough so that I able to continue to walk in faith with God and to trust him again.
After all, it’s not about word but actions and trust that keep us together.
Lord, courage is what I need as I continue my way and walk closer to your wills. Amen.
**Reminded**
Human is not perfect and they come with one package of weakness and strength. When you said that you love someone, you take the whole package of him/her. Good or bad, we bear for one another.
Sometimes, there are only fear and doubt in my mind when something doesn’t seem right. But last night, I’m being reminded again that, I should always remember what he did for me and hold on to it tight enough so that I able to continue to walk in faith with God and to trust him again.
After all, it’s not about word but actions and trust that keep us together.
Lord, courage is what I need as I continue my way and walk closer to your wills. Amen.
**Reminded**
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
After a long break
As I was browsing my blog, I found that I’ve only updated one post on June. Wow… it’s a long break.
All these while, I keep trying to find topic to write in my blog, but when I start with a blank Microsoft word, my mind goes blank too. In additional, I’ve been busy in my working place and personal life.
Well, as for working life, it’s always busy. Responsibilities have added up and sometimes I have to stay until 8pm or bring some work of mine home in order to manage the productivity of my job tasks. To achieve a goal, endurance is all I need.
As for my personal life, it’s always about serving God and having fellowship with my friends. Recently, I’ve been busy practicing and coordinating a dance with a gang of Chinese dancers that prepare themselves for a conference in Labuan. Along the process, to be one of them, I learn something throughout the journey that I walked with them. Some of them, they don’t have dancing background but they have a heart of serving and a heart that willing to learn and to be train. Some of them have dancing background but the submissive heart is a bit reluctant. Anyhow, it never stops me from serving God. After all, it’s all about God’s kingdom. The happiest part of practicing together with them is that, I see a big improvement from them. They really put in effort to dance, and would like to give the best for God and for His glory. This is always the happiest part when you can see someone improve and he/she is getting better and better. The effort that I put, they appreciate, and the effort that they put, I can see and I compliment them.
Hmm… I guess that’s something that I’ve been busy about. Hardly believe that it’s another half year already. Time really flies. Another half year it will be the end of 2007.
July is here. Well, it’s another month that I should sit myself down, and think what I’ve learned in this half-year time. What I’ve achieved and what I want to achieve again. Well, I manage to find a special someone in my life. This special someone, give me joy and laughter. At first, not many people think that it’s a good choice. But anyhow, I’ve make the first step, and it’s my pleasure to continue to walk on my journey with grateful heart and with faith in God. After all, God is in control. All I have to do, is walk with faith and trust in Him.
**Long break**
All these while, I keep trying to find topic to write in my blog, but when I start with a blank Microsoft word, my mind goes blank too. In additional, I’ve been busy in my working place and personal life.
Well, as for working life, it’s always busy. Responsibilities have added up and sometimes I have to stay until 8pm or bring some work of mine home in order to manage the productivity of my job tasks. To achieve a goal, endurance is all I need.
As for my personal life, it’s always about serving God and having fellowship with my friends. Recently, I’ve been busy practicing and coordinating a dance with a gang of Chinese dancers that prepare themselves for a conference in Labuan. Along the process, to be one of them, I learn something throughout the journey that I walked with them. Some of them, they don’t have dancing background but they have a heart of serving and a heart that willing to learn and to be train. Some of them have dancing background but the submissive heart is a bit reluctant. Anyhow, it never stops me from serving God. After all, it’s all about God’s kingdom. The happiest part of practicing together with them is that, I see a big improvement from them. They really put in effort to dance, and would like to give the best for God and for His glory. This is always the happiest part when you can see someone improve and he/she is getting better and better. The effort that I put, they appreciate, and the effort that they put, I can see and I compliment them.
Hmm… I guess that’s something that I’ve been busy about. Hardly believe that it’s another half year already. Time really flies. Another half year it will be the end of 2007.
July is here. Well, it’s another month that I should sit myself down, and think what I’ve learned in this half-year time. What I’ve achieved and what I want to achieve again. Well, I manage to find a special someone in my life. This special someone, give me joy and laughter. At first, not many people think that it’s a good choice. But anyhow, I’ve make the first step, and it’s my pleasure to continue to walk on my journey with grateful heart and with faith in God. After all, God is in control. All I have to do, is walk with faith and trust in Him.
**Long break**
Be content
Happy Belated Birthday Lydia and Brooke Ann. Last night my house is pack with peoples. At first, Ka Seng is back from Tawau. So, he’ll be staying at my place for a few days. Plus Lydia and Danny is there. Anyway, both of them are always there. Grace is also there and of course, Brooke is there too coz it’s her birthday. My housemates make soup, and we spend wonderful time together.
It’s been quite some time that our place not as happening as last time. Maybe because everyone is busy and we just can’t find some time to spend some crazy time together.
It’s nice when your house is filled with laughter, filled with joy and screaming here and there. People talking and making noise. You feel that the house is all alive again, and the joy of living is around again.
People playing, laughing, talking and making jokes, having fun. It’s fun.
Many times in our life, due to busyness of working and something else, we lost the fun time. We seldom stop ourselves down and think how wonderful life is. How beautiful laughter is. When you hear people laughing, very naturally, you will feel stress gone and life is fabulous again. I miss this kind of feeling.
After last night, I’m refreshed. I remind myself to give thanks to God and remind myself to count my blessing and be content with what I have. I thank God for peoples around. They color up my life when my life left black and gray in color.
**Contented**
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Happy birthday
Today is my lovely friend / cell leader / mom in the spiritual family birthday. I would like to take this opportunity to wish her happy birthday. May God love her, she get prettier and prettier and she will find joy in her life.
Actually, I try to plan her surprise party but sometimes, we just couldn’t control everything. So, we bought her a cake and try to surprise her other way round. In the end, it still failed. But I saw that she is happy, and we are happy as well.
Talk about happiness, it remind me my wishes for all my friends. There are many times that I try to protect certain people because I love them a lot. I don’t hope that they will end up hurting and sad. I don’t like to see people that matter a lot to me feel sad and down. I will feel sad as well. As long as they are happy, I am happy. As for me, friend rule are only one. If they are happy, I’m happy. All I wish is for them to be happy. Happy with their life.
Today 060607, would like to take this opportunity to tell her that she meant a lot to us. I still remembered vividly every season I spend with her. Seasons of sad, disappointment, happy and crazy, she is there. I thank God that He places her in my life. There was one incident that she has to choose me and someone else to continue to stay in our cell group. At first, I told her that, she should choose the other party because I think that the other party will need you guys more than me. In the end, she chooses me. I was so happy because I can still be with my family now. Every little thing that our whole cell group had been through before really meant a lot to us. I guessed it mean even more to her as well because she paid more than anyone else, give more than anyone else and love unconditionally.
Well, I can say that she is good. Good enough to teach us and rebuke us. Ya, no one is perfect but in this family of mine, I learn to accept who they are and love them with God’s love. Together we continue to share Jesus and touch lives.
I love her a lot…. I pray that she has a wonderful life and she will continue to love God and love us. She is not perfect, but we love her for who she is.
People said, true friend are hard to find… I thank God that I found a few. Forever or not is not my option but I appreciated every time I am there with them.
**Friends forever**
Sunday, May 27, 2007
It hurt God
Many times in life, you get so many weird things, things that you never thought and never expect before. My heart is in pain now. I think God’s heart is even more ache. Some people can throw down their principle, their faces or even their self respect just because of a sum of money. Some even throw away their times and relationships because of an amount of money.
Money…
Is that really matter to you that you rather throw away your self respect? Where is your self respect and principle?
People willing to do anything just for the sake of 5K. Is that worth? For some people, maybe it worth more than word can say because of their financial crisis. But if you already have enough, why would you do such a thing? Out of greediness? Out of pride? Out of desire?
For it is written in Matthew 6.24, No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
It is also written in 1 John 2:15, Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
If such a person willing to have this heart to go after God’s heart, it is a joy.
Lord, have mercy on us
**Heartache**
Money…
Is that really matter to you that you rather throw away your self respect? Where is your self respect and principle?
People willing to do anything just for the sake of 5K. Is that worth? For some people, maybe it worth more than word can say because of their financial crisis. But if you already have enough, why would you do such a thing? Out of greediness? Out of pride? Out of desire?
For it is written in Matthew 6.24, No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
It is also written in 1 John 2:15, Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
If such a person willing to have this heart to go after God’s heart, it is a joy.
Lord, have mercy on us
**Heartache**
Friday, May 25, 2007
Enjoy my day
Is such a refresh if every month you can calm yourself down and just to be with yourself. Spend some time to be alone, stay at home doing nothing or do the things that you like and watch the movie that you enjoy. After came down from Genting, I never really have a period of time for myself. Most of the time, I spend it with someone else. Went out to dinner, movie, fellowship, and church activities. Instead of busy life, I choose to calm myself down and spend some time with myself for two days. This is good… I feel refresh again. Know what I want in my life and who should I be with.
In these few weeks of busy agenda, I seldom spend time with my dear housemate. Not only I have busy plan because she has her busy period as well. So, we talk less; spend time of being together less. Ya, I know… we stay together. But most of the time, either she will not be at home while I’m home or the other way round. When we spend less time together, things seems to go the other way round than we imagine. Or maybe I’ve move on to the next chapter of life while people around me still assume that I am in the previous chapter. I know changes take time and it will need a lot of times as well.
Last night, I have a wonderful time with her again. Just to be with her, talk non-sense, eat together, be with one another and enjoy the time of being together. I have a good time with her. We talked and talked and talked and eat and laugh and encourage and be together. I’m always grateful that God sent her into my life. In fact, she gives a big impact in my life. I love her for who she is and she appreciate me as who I am. We love each other so much. Thank you for being with me and walk with me. I love you. Let's do that again.
**Refreshed**
In these few weeks of busy agenda, I seldom spend time with my dear housemate. Not only I have busy plan because she has her busy period as well. So, we talk less; spend time of being together less. Ya, I know… we stay together. But most of the time, either she will not be at home while I’m home or the other way round. When we spend less time together, things seems to go the other way round than we imagine. Or maybe I’ve move on to the next chapter of life while people around me still assume that I am in the previous chapter. I know changes take time and it will need a lot of times as well. Last night, I have a wonderful time with her again. Just to be with her, talk non-sense, eat together, be with one another and enjoy the time of being together. I have a good time with her. We talked and talked and talked and eat and laugh and encourage and be together. I’m always grateful that God sent her into my life. In fact, she gives a big impact in my life. I love her for who she is and she appreciate me as who I am. We love each other so much. Thank you for being with me and walk with me. I love you. Let's do that again.
**Refreshed**
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Today's Word
Loving Out The Fear
by Jon Walker
All of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. (1 Peter 3:8 NLT)
God enables us to love the fear out of one another.
We drive fear from our families and friends by loving one another so supportively that every one feels safe inside the group (1 John 4:18). This safety allows us to bring our humanity into the open, including all our pain and joy, our ups and downs, our victories and defeats.
It means you give to others the same uncommon safety Christ gives you – to be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused, yet to be loved.
God challenges us to create a Christ-community where we love like our lives depend upon it (1 Peter 1:22) and where we can each “live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28)
We’re to weep as one and celebrate as one, caring for each other equally (1 Corinthians 12:25-26) as we comfort and confront, warm and warn, cherish and challenge within an atmosphere of supportive safety.
Loving the fear out of each other requires that we develop:
Tender hearts – We give support to each other because God gives us support, and we’re to encourage others with the encouragement we receive from him. (2 Corinthians 1:4) In the New Testament, the word ‘support’ can literally mean “to increase one another’s potential.” (Romans 14:19 NJB) We strengthen one another by extending love, instead of fostering fear, and we do that by offering relationships that are safe and sympathetic.
Humble minds –True humility focuses on the worth of others. We understand our value in Christ, and we understand that God shapes each of us for a unique purpose.
Godly eyes – Loving the fear out of our family and friends – in fact, loving the fear out of the world – means we see others for what they can be, not for what they appear to be now. Jesus called Peter a rock when the fisherman was still acting on impulse (Matt. 16:18), and God called Gideon a mighty man of courage when he was hiding from the enemy among piles of grain. (Judges 6:11-12) God calls us to encourage and affirm each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11), seeing those around us in terms of their purpose and mission in life.
So what?
· God enables us to love the fear out of one another. You can love the fear out of others, and you can allow the fear to be loved out of you.
· We exhibit tender hearts when we say to one another:
· It’s OK to have a bad day.
· It’s OK to be tired.
· It’s OK to admit your mistakes.
· It’s OK to say your marriage is failing.
· It’s OK to confess your addiction.
· It’s OK to share you’re scared.
· It’s OK to want a day away from your toddler.
· It’s OK to grieve this loss.
· It’s OK to doubt, to be confused, to cry.
· We exhibit humble minds when we say to one another:
· It’s OK to be happy you got a new car.
· It’s OK to celebrate that you got a huge raise.
· It’s OK to joyfully tell us you lost 17 pounds.
· It’s OK to say you won the sales competition.
· It’s OK to shout “Hallelujah!” because God’s presence in your life is so good.
· It’s OK to tell us these things because we will be as happy for you as if these blessings had come to us, and we will join you in hearty celebration.
I personally believe that love is supered huge and powerful. Love and hate is just a thin line. Some people said that so much in love could turn into hatred easily. Hate a person is so easy. All you have to do is just hate him/her. But to love a person truly and sincerely is always the toughest lesson. Love has to cover all. Covered weaknesses, bear with him/her, understand him/her and support him/her while you have no idea what on earth he/she is thinking and while you just couldn’t understand why he/she act this way. A friend of mine told me before, to truly love a person, you couldn’t support blindly but with wisdom. Well, I can say that I agree and not agree. I agree in the sense that it’s true, we can’t support blindly. While in another hand, I don’t agree as in, I support him/her because I trust God has His mighty ways for him/her. After all, I am just playing a role as a friend to love and support meanwhile I trust God is in control of everything as well. No one can choose which way we are taking and no one can control which way he/she should go. God always in control and God always there for us.
Love… the sweetest things that happen on earth and also the hardest lesson to learn. Fear not, God is love, so I can love too. The power of love is larger than we can imagine. Love never fails.
**Love can conquer all**
by Jon Walker
All of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. (1 Peter 3:8 NLT)
God enables us to love the fear out of one another.
We drive fear from our families and friends by loving one another so supportively that every one feels safe inside the group (1 John 4:18). This safety allows us to bring our humanity into the open, including all our pain and joy, our ups and downs, our victories and defeats.
It means you give to others the same uncommon safety Christ gives you – to be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused, yet to be loved.
God challenges us to create a Christ-community where we love like our lives depend upon it (1 Peter 1:22) and where we can each “live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28)
We’re to weep as one and celebrate as one, caring for each other equally (1 Corinthians 12:25-26) as we comfort and confront, warm and warn, cherish and challenge within an atmosphere of supportive safety.
Loving the fear out of each other requires that we develop:
Tender hearts – We give support to each other because God gives us support, and we’re to encourage others with the encouragement we receive from him. (2 Corinthians 1:4) In the New Testament, the word ‘support’ can literally mean “to increase one another’s potential.” (Romans 14:19 NJB) We strengthen one another by extending love, instead of fostering fear, and we do that by offering relationships that are safe and sympathetic.
Humble minds –True humility focuses on the worth of others. We understand our value in Christ, and we understand that God shapes each of us for a unique purpose.
Godly eyes – Loving the fear out of our family and friends – in fact, loving the fear out of the world – means we see others for what they can be, not for what they appear to be now. Jesus called Peter a rock when the fisherman was still acting on impulse (Matt. 16:18), and God called Gideon a mighty man of courage when he was hiding from the enemy among piles of grain. (Judges 6:11-12) God calls us to encourage and affirm each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11), seeing those around us in terms of their purpose and mission in life.
So what?
· God enables us to love the fear out of one another. You can love the fear out of others, and you can allow the fear to be loved out of you.
· We exhibit tender hearts when we say to one another:
· It’s OK to have a bad day.
· It’s OK to be tired.
· It’s OK to admit your mistakes.
· It’s OK to say your marriage is failing.
· It’s OK to confess your addiction.
· It’s OK to share you’re scared.
· It’s OK to want a day away from your toddler.
· It’s OK to grieve this loss.
· It’s OK to doubt, to be confused, to cry.
· We exhibit humble minds when we say to one another:
· It’s OK to be happy you got a new car.
· It’s OK to celebrate that you got a huge raise.
· It’s OK to joyfully tell us you lost 17 pounds.
· It’s OK to say you won the sales competition.
· It’s OK to shout “Hallelujah!” because God’s presence in your life is so good.
· It’s OK to tell us these things because we will be as happy for you as if these blessings had come to us, and we will join you in hearty celebration.
I personally believe that love is supered huge and powerful. Love and hate is just a thin line. Some people said that so much in love could turn into hatred easily. Hate a person is so easy. All you have to do is just hate him/her. But to love a person truly and sincerely is always the toughest lesson. Love has to cover all. Covered weaknesses, bear with him/her, understand him/her and support him/her while you have no idea what on earth he/she is thinking and while you just couldn’t understand why he/she act this way. A friend of mine told me before, to truly love a person, you couldn’t support blindly but with wisdom. Well, I can say that I agree and not agree. I agree in the sense that it’s true, we can’t support blindly. While in another hand, I don’t agree as in, I support him/her because I trust God has His mighty ways for him/her. After all, I am just playing a role as a friend to love and support meanwhile I trust God is in control of everything as well. No one can choose which way we are taking and no one can control which way he/she should go. God always in control and God always there for us.
Love… the sweetest things that happen on earth and also the hardest lesson to learn. Fear not, God is love, so I can love too. The power of love is larger than we can imagine. Love never fails.
**Love can conquer all**
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Live faith out
Faith… a huge word that everyone needs to learn and will never learns it fully until the day Christ return.
Last weekends, I spent my holiday in peace heaven. A wonderful place with cold weather (really cold), wonderful people and it’s up in the hill. I always think that some places that are higher can make me feel closer to God. At least I am a bit higher than normal days. Hihihihi.
So, in that camp, we learn about the doctrine of God, the real life and how to life live out with faith. We learn to have faith that trust God 100% and have faith in things that we cannot see. It’s kind of stress in that camp because everyone trying to run away from real life but we have to play this game called “life game”. This is really a life game. We play what we normally do in life. Study, look for job, work, get marry, and give birth. Those are the routine in life. I can’t believe that I have to face this rat racing thing in the camp together with my church member. Wow…. This is challenging.
Though out this life game, the real self of everyone appear on the surface. We can really see the real face of certain people. I can see the real face of myself as well. On thing that I want to go after, the way I view the point of life and the lifestyle of mine. I reflect back and I realize that I am someone that really needs simple life only. I need not so much money but just a good job, someone that loves me and want to get marry with me and we have a wonderful family and my life will be that’s it. My point of view for my life.
Some people chase after property, some people chase after money and some chase after pretty girls to get marry with. I got tempted with a rich guy in the game when I worked as an estate agent. This guy is rich and has a lot of property. I ask him to marry me, but he answers me, he wants pretty girls. So, I know that he do have the intention to go after beautiful lady.
There is a guy promise that he will marry me, so while I continue to work, I wait for him in the age of 29. By the time he wants to get marry with me, everything is too late because judgment day is here. When judgment day is here, nothing seems to have value anymore. A scary day….
In this whole process of life, it awakes me. Awake me to cherish every moment and to live life out with faith and in love with God. Today I can plan but tomorrow I can only walk with faith and trust in God. A cruel fact about life and about human but this is real life. This is reality. Time doesn’t wait for us to be good or wait for us to trust Him. After all, it’s our choice to choose which way we want to walk.
In this camp, I learn about suffering as well. Suffering is a necessity for ultimate perfection. Last time I don’t know why I have to endure pain and endure hurt. I only know that after I endure, I will become stronger. Now, I know why I am in pain last time and why God want me to go through life darkest time. I will only get to know more about myself, God and man when I go through life darkest time. I get to see who my true friends are, how weak I am and how powerful God is. Rev Lee said that; do not boast how strong you are when you are not in suffering because when suffering come, it shows how weak you are. This is so true, do not boast. I started to change the perspective of suffering and know the value of suffering.
Recently, I am suffering from toothache and skin problem as well. It’s driving me mad. I get frustrated easily, my emotion swing life crazy and I throw temper everywhere. Slowly, I calm myself down and try to take this as a challenge to trust and have faith in God. I know God will heal me and after this difficulty, I learn another level of faith.
To endure is always the hardest time. It required patients. I hope that things are ok soon enough but that can only be my wish. I still have to wait and wait. Only time can prove and test. Many things in life, I wish it could be faster, it could be sooner. It will never happen because of time. I can only wait patiently, have faith and trust in God. I never know how my future is. But, I dare to walk out with faith again, in trust again. No matter what pain or hurt I’ll get in the future, I know the Lord is with me. After all, life need to take risk to grow more mature.
**Live with Faith**
Last weekends, I spent my holiday in peace heaven. A wonderful place with cold weather (really cold), wonderful people and it’s up in the hill. I always think that some places that are higher can make me feel closer to God. At least I am a bit higher than normal days. Hihihihi.So, in that camp, we learn about the doctrine of God, the real life and how to life live out with faith. We learn to have faith that trust God 100% and have faith in things that we cannot see. It’s kind of stress in that camp because everyone trying to run away from real life but we have to play this game called “life game”. This is really a life game. We play what we normally do in life. Study, look for job, work, get marry, and give birth. Those are the routine in life. I can’t believe that I have to face this rat racing thing in the camp together with my church member. Wow…. This is challenging.
Though out this life game, the real self of everyone appear on the surface. We can really see the real face of certain people. I can see the real face of myself as well. On thing that I want to go after, the way I view the point of life and the lifestyle of mine. I reflect back and I realize that I am someone that really needs simple life only. I need not so much money but just a good job, someone that loves me and want to get marry with me and we have a wonderful family and my life will be that’s it. My point of view for my life.
Some people chase after property, some people chase after money and some chase after pretty girls to get marry with. I got tempted with a rich guy in the game when I worked as an estate agent. This guy is rich and has a lot of property. I ask him to marry me, but he answers me, he wants pretty girls. So, I know that he do have the intention to go after beautiful lady.
There is a guy promise that he will marry me, so while I continue to work, I wait for him in the age of 29. By the time he wants to get marry with me, everything is too late because judgment day is here. When judgment day is here, nothing seems to have value anymore. A scary day….
In this whole process of life, it awakes me. Awake me to cherish every moment and to live life out with faith and in love with God. Today I can plan but tomorrow I can only walk with faith and trust in God. A cruel fact about life and about human but this is real life. This is reality. Time doesn’t wait for us to be good or wait for us to trust Him. After all, it’s our choice to choose which way we want to walk.In this camp, I learn about suffering as well. Suffering is a necessity for ultimate perfection. Last time I don’t know why I have to endure pain and endure hurt. I only know that after I endure, I will become stronger. Now, I know why I am in pain last time and why God want me to go through life darkest time. I will only get to know more about myself, God and man when I go through life darkest time. I get to see who my true friends are, how weak I am and how powerful God is. Rev Lee said that; do not boast how strong you are when you are not in suffering because when suffering come, it shows how weak you are. This is so true, do not boast. I started to change the perspective of suffering and know the value of suffering.
Recently, I am suffering from toothache and skin problem as well. It’s driving me mad. I get frustrated easily, my emotion swing life crazy and I throw temper everywhere. Slowly, I calm myself down and try to take this as a challenge to trust and have faith in God. I know God will heal me and after this difficulty, I learn another level of faith.
To endure is always the hardest time. It required patients. I hope that things are ok soon enough but that can only be my wish. I still have to wait and wait. Only time can prove and test. Many things in life, I wish it could be faster, it could be sooner. It will never happen because of time. I can only wait patiently, have faith and trust in God. I never know how my future is. But, I dare to walk out with faith again, in trust again. No matter what pain or hurt I’ll get in the future, I know the Lord is with me. After all, life need to take risk to grow more mature.
**Live with Faith**
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Everyday is special
It’s another year again that I gain my life experience, another year of maturity and another year of getting older. How do I feel today? Hmmm…. Basically, I don’t felt really excited about today. Maybe because of the blog that I read from a friend of mine. What he said is saddening but it’s true. In his perspective, he mention about what make birthday so special. No matter which day your birthday fall on, life still goes on, responsibilities are still around and work still carry on. The earth is still turning no matter there are people who celebrate it with you or not, no matter there are people who remembered this day or not.
After I finished reading his blog, I think about it myself. What he wrote is kind of true. No matter what, life still goes on. Happy or not, time will still tick, life will still die, and the progress of life still move on. But what I think it’s meaningful is that, he said, he don’t remembered ours birthday because he cherish every single time when we are together. This is meaningful…. We don’t have to wait for certain time to celebrate for certain thing or wait for any special day to cherish a person. In fact, we should cherish every time when we are together, enjoying the fellowship together and touch each other’s life. To encourage one another to move on with life and to be our brothers keeper.
Today 25th April, a day that I remind myself that there are a lot of people who love and cherish me as who I am. I am happy, I am glad… I didn’t expect a lot but just a short sms from my old friends, new friends and someone that I care to greet me, I am filled with joy because I know you remembered, I know you care and I know I have room in your heart.
A few years back, during my birthday. I did expect a lot and when I didn’t get what I expected, I broke down in tears and start to complain about my life. As for today, I am glad with what I have. I don’t really care that you greet me out of responsibilities, celebrate with me because if there is no celebration for me, you will feel guilty because everyone else has it or you greet me for the sake of greeting only. I don’t care for the sake of what but I am grateful and joyful because you did it for me. Thank you guys… The effort that you paid, I cherished and I am content. I appreciated every moment that I spend with my friends and I treasure every single of them. No matter they are just passing by my life or are in my life, I love every single of them and I enjoy being with them. I am glad that the Lord let me count my blessing as I name them one by one.
Finally, Happy Birthday Jenny Liau. :)
Yeah...I am a step closer to Heaven again. Can't wait to meet You face to face.
**25th April**
After I finished reading his blog, I think about it myself. What he wrote is kind of true. No matter what, life still goes on. Happy or not, time will still tick, life will still die, and the progress of life still move on. But what I think it’s meaningful is that, he said, he don’t remembered ours birthday because he cherish every single time when we are together. This is meaningful…. We don’t have to wait for certain time to celebrate for certain thing or wait for any special day to cherish a person. In fact, we should cherish every time when we are together, enjoying the fellowship together and touch each other’s life. To encourage one another to move on with life and to be our brothers keeper.
Today 25th April, a day that I remind myself that there are a lot of people who love and cherish me as who I am. I am happy, I am glad… I didn’t expect a lot but just a short sms from my old friends, new friends and someone that I care to greet me, I am filled with joy because I know you remembered, I know you care and I know I have room in your heart. A few years back, during my birthday. I did expect a lot and when I didn’t get what I expected, I broke down in tears and start to complain about my life. As for today, I am glad with what I have. I don’t really care that you greet me out of responsibilities, celebrate with me because if there is no celebration for me, you will feel guilty because everyone else has it or you greet me for the sake of greeting only. I don’t care for the sake of what but I am grateful and joyful because you did it for me. Thank you guys… The effort that you paid, I cherished and I am content. I appreciated every moment that I spend with my friends and I treasure every single of them. No matter they are just passing by my life or are in my life, I love every single of them and I enjoy being with them. I am glad that the Lord let me count my blessing as I name them one by one.
Finally, Happy Birthday Jenny Liau. :)
Yeah...I am a step closer to Heaven again. Can't wait to meet You face to face.
**25th April**
Monday, April 16, 2007
Time
Rev Doc Stephen Tong preached before about the topic, Time.
Time can be very scary because it recorded every little thing about you. It recorded your history, your memories, your life, your future, your past…your everything.
According to Rev Stephen Tong, time is a tough testifier. Time can test things that we wouldn’t know. Time can prove things that we cannot see. Time can heal, time can brings hurt and grief fade away. Time can be our faithful friend. It will stand as a witness to our good testimony. Time cannot be bought with money but time is an opportunity.
In my life recently, I need this time a lot. I need time to be healed; I need time in order to know my next step. I need time to prove, I need time be my evidence. I need time in order for me to be strong again. I need time.
Time can show me how faithful and good a person can be and also how evil and unfaithful another person can be. Time can show what is good and evil.
I’ve been waiting for someone, for something, for God and for myself. I can only pray that time will prove, time will heal and time will continue to be my best and faithful friend.
** I have been faithfully waiting**
Time can be very scary because it recorded every little thing about you. It recorded your history, your memories, your life, your future, your past…your everything.
According to Rev Stephen Tong, time is a tough testifier. Time can test things that we wouldn’t know. Time can prove things that we cannot see. Time can heal, time can brings hurt and grief fade away. Time can be our faithful friend. It will stand as a witness to our good testimony. Time cannot be bought with money but time is an opportunity.
In my life recently, I need this time a lot. I need time to be healed; I need time in order to know my next step. I need time to prove, I need time be my evidence. I need time in order for me to be strong again. I need time.
Time can show me how faithful and good a person can be and also how evil and unfaithful another person can be. Time can show what is good and evil.
I’ve been waiting for someone, for something, for God and for myself. I can only pray that time will prove, time will heal and time will continue to be my best and faithful friend.
** I have been faithfully waiting**
The biggest enemy?
Some people will say that their biggest enemy is the devil. Some will said that is their boss, their wife, their competitor or someone that hurt them the most. As for me, I think that my biggest enemy is myself.
Why would I say that? It’s because I found out that the biggest enemy is in me. It’s myself. Many times in life, I’ve been battling with myself. Should I or should I not? Can or cannot? Good and bad, it’s up to how we analysis it, how we want it to be and how we define the word. I always believe that, if you want something to happen, it will always happen. If you don’t willing to make it happen, no matter how hard you try with unwilling heart, it will not happen as well. After all, it’s back to the topic willingness.
Like what my best friend told me, everything come from the heart and everything matter the most is in the heart. A person with good intention, no matter what he/she did, he will sow a good seed, and will reap a good fruit. If he/she have bad and evil motive, he/she will sow a bad seed and reap an evil fruit. Everything that we do, there is consequences that we have to bear. Sometimes, the rebellious inside of me will try to come out and try to control the conscious me, but with God’s grace, I am still won this battle.
In my life, I might not understand why are all these happen to me? I’ve been good, I do everything with good intention and yet things went the other way from what I’ve planned. I don’t understand but many people around me will said that one fine day, you will know it. I can only long to see that day and learn the lesson that I should learn.
Everything happened for a purpose, for a reason. Many people come and go in my life. No matter how long they stay in my heart, how seasonal it is, how fast they forgot me, I truly appreciate the time of being together with them. When the time or season has past, we might not remember how sweet it is when we are together. I truly love people around me. No matter it’s a season thing, permanent or temporarily. If I could make it forever, I will try my best to make it forever. But if I’ve tried my best and yet I couldn’t make it forever, I will let it go with a grateful heart for the time that we’ve spent together when you are with me.
Every struggle, there is a lesson. Every trials, there is a victory. Lord…not what I want, but what You want. My biggest enemy… myself, my mind. May you continue to guide me and tame me as soft as a rabbit but as strong as a lion.
**Jennieliau, my biggest enemy**
Why would I say that? It’s because I found out that the biggest enemy is in me. It’s myself. Many times in life, I’ve been battling with myself. Should I or should I not? Can or cannot? Good and bad, it’s up to how we analysis it, how we want it to be and how we define the word. I always believe that, if you want something to happen, it will always happen. If you don’t willing to make it happen, no matter how hard you try with unwilling heart, it will not happen as well. After all, it’s back to the topic willingness.
Like what my best friend told me, everything come from the heart and everything matter the most is in the heart. A person with good intention, no matter what he/she did, he will sow a good seed, and will reap a good fruit. If he/she have bad and evil motive, he/she will sow a bad seed and reap an evil fruit. Everything that we do, there is consequences that we have to bear. Sometimes, the rebellious inside of me will try to come out and try to control the conscious me, but with God’s grace, I am still won this battle.
In my life, I might not understand why are all these happen to me? I’ve been good, I do everything with good intention and yet things went the other way from what I’ve planned. I don’t understand but many people around me will said that one fine day, you will know it. I can only long to see that day and learn the lesson that I should learn.
Everything happened for a purpose, for a reason. Many people come and go in my life. No matter how long they stay in my heart, how seasonal it is, how fast they forgot me, I truly appreciate the time of being together with them. When the time or season has past, we might not remember how sweet it is when we are together. I truly love people around me. No matter it’s a season thing, permanent or temporarily. If I could make it forever, I will try my best to make it forever. But if I’ve tried my best and yet I couldn’t make it forever, I will let it go with a grateful heart for the time that we’ve spent together when you are with me.
Every struggle, there is a lesson. Every trials, there is a victory. Lord…not what I want, but what You want. My biggest enemy… myself, my mind. May you continue to guide me and tame me as soft as a rabbit but as strong as a lion.
**Jennieliau, my biggest enemy**
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Breakthrough (30.03.07-Last day)
When the sunrise, I opened my eyes and its 8am. My stomach felt better compare to last night but there is still little bit not comfortable here and there. I thank God for being there for me and heal me when I need Him the most.
Again, I prepared myself to meet God and took my breakfast like yesterday. Continue my book with breakfast meal and enjoying myself in the cold weather. Follow on with walking around in the park as I’ve promised myself that I’ll enjoy God’s creation. I have difficulties in searching this park but at last, I found it. It’s not a beautiful park after all and it look nicer from the view above from my room. In Genting highlands, there is not much nature thing to see. So, the next trip that I wanted to be alone and have breakthrough in life, I have to choose Cameron Highlands instead. I didn’t post any picture of the garden here because I don’t think that is a pretty garden. After the garden thing, I went up to my room, pack my stuff and prepare to check out and go home.
My journey ended just like this. A lot of breakthrough for me. The biggest success that I experience from this trip is that, I able to be alone for two days without talking much to anyone but God. Trying to find back my inner world as well. I knew so well that to find back my inner world is not one or two days thing but this is the first step to refocus back my life on the things that should be my focus, and to find back the purpose of life in God’s eyes.
In these two days, I didn’t really talk to anyone. Most of the time, I have pen and notebook with me. Whatever I feel, I wrote it down and whatever I want, I wrote it down. I can see things clearer when I started to write things down and I get to know myself better. Travel alone is fun, provided the Lord is with me. Breakthrough in eating alone, shopping alone, making decision alone, finish the whole cheese cake alone, get sick and recover again alone. I know how to take care myself now.
How do I feel? I feel refreshed and little bit unhappy because I have to go back to Sunway. I miss the time of being alone. I feel being strengthened by God again to find back my direction and focus of life. I spare time to find what I want in life. I analysis my feeling and know what is my next step. I feel good…
**Enjoy for being alone**
Again, I prepared myself to meet God and took my breakfast like yesterday. Continue my book with breakfast meal and enjoying myself in the cold weather. Follow on with walking around in the park as I’ve promised myself that I’ll enjoy God’s creation. I have difficulties in searching this park but at last, I found it. It’s not a beautiful park after all and it look nicer from the view above from my room. In Genting highlands, there is not much nature thing to see. So, the next trip that I wanted to be alone and have breakthrough in life, I have to choose Cameron Highlands instead. I didn’t post any picture of the garden here because I don’t think that is a pretty garden. After the garden thing, I went up to my room, pack my stuff and prepare to check out and go home.
My journey ended just like this. A lot of breakthrough for me. The biggest success that I experience from this trip is that, I able to be alone for two days without talking much to anyone but God. Trying to find back my inner world as well. I knew so well that to find back my inner world is not one or two days thing but this is the first step to refocus back my life on the things that should be my focus, and to find back the purpose of life in God’s eyes.
In these two days, I didn’t really talk to anyone. Most of the time, I have pen and notebook with me. Whatever I feel, I wrote it down and whatever I want, I wrote it down. I can see things clearer when I started to write things down and I get to know myself better. Travel alone is fun, provided the Lord is with me. Breakthrough in eating alone, shopping alone, making decision alone, finish the whole cheese cake alone, get sick and recover again alone. I know how to take care myself now.
How do I feel? I feel refreshed and little bit unhappy because I have to go back to Sunway. I miss the time of being alone. I feel being strengthened by God again to find back my direction and focus of life. I spare time to find what I want in life. I analysis my feeling and know what is my next step. I feel good…**Enjoy for being alone**
Breakthrough (29.03.07-Second day)
I suppose to wake up at 7am to do my devotion and to take a walk outside to enjoy God’s creation. Unluckily, by the time I woke up, it’s already 8.30am. I took a quick clean up myself, comb my hair and prepare to meet God.
After meeting Him, I went down stairs for my free breakfast. The breakfast doesn’t taste good at all but I enjoy eating alone with a book on my hand. After breakfast, I went back to my room to continue with my book and drop down the things that I want.
Around afternoon about 12 pm, I decided to take a walk around Genting. In less than 2 hours, I realized that I’ve done with my walking. Outside were raining and I enjoy myself walking around indoor. After the walked, I started to get tired, so I decided to buy myself something. This is a breakthrough. I bought things on my own and decided on my own without any opinion from someone else. With a joyful heart, I bought some stuff for myself and some for my friends. I kinda enjoy shopping alone. Didn’t really felt lonely because The Lord is with me.
Watch showed 4pm, legs getting tired. Choose an expensive place to rest and relax that is Starbucks. I sat there and hang out for more than 2 and half hours. What I did there? I continue my book. Read book for two and half hours….Wow….this is really a breakthrough because normally I read one hour, I already started to feel sleepy. Another breakthrough is that, I finish a maple cheese cake and a large cup of caramel coffee all by myself. This is fattening but I enjoy it a lot. When I go back to Sunway, I really have to keep fit.
Half past 6, decided to go back to my room for the drama series that showed at 7pm, TV2. While I was on my way back, I told myself that I can actually sit in Starbucks for more than 4 hours. If not because of the drama series, I would have done that. Came back, taken shower, rest and enjoy my TV. About 8pm, my stomach started to feel pain and I’ve been going in and out of toilet for 4 times in less than 2 hours. I can say that the whole night, I lie down on my bed and pray that God will heal me because my stomach is really pain. I slept at 11.30pm because of the pain but this nap doesn’t last long. About 1am, I woke up and went into the wash room again for 2 times in less than half an hour. This show that, I went in and out for 6 times for the whole night. This is suffering…. The only thing that I can do is to pray for healing because it’s late at night and I’m alone. I have no idea where should I find medicine for my stomach. I prayed, and continue to sleep.
**End of second day’s breakthrough**
After meeting Him, I went down stairs for my free breakfast. The breakfast doesn’t taste good at all but I enjoy eating alone with a book on my hand. After breakfast, I went back to my room to continue with my book and drop down the things that I want. 
Around afternoon about 12 pm, I decided to take a walk around Genting. In less than 2 hours, I realized that I’ve done with my walking. Outside were raining and I enjoy myself walking around indoor. After the walked, I started to get tired, so I decided to buy myself something. This is a breakthrough. I bought things on my own and decided on my own without any opinion from someone else. With a joyful heart, I bought some stuff for myself and some for my friends. I kinda enjoy shopping alone. Didn’t really felt lonely because The Lord is with me.
Watch showed 4pm, legs getting tired. Choose an expensive place to rest and relax that is Starbucks. I sat there and hang out for more than 2 and half hours. What I did there? I continue my book. Read book for two and half hours….Wow….this is really a breakthrough because normally I read one hour, I already started to feel sleepy. Another breakthrough is that, I finish a maple cheese cake and a large cup of caramel coffee all by myself. This is fattening but I enjoy it a lot. When I go back to Sunway, I really have to keep fit. Half past 6, decided to go back to my room for the drama series that showed at 7pm, TV2. While I was on my way back, I told myself that I can actually sit in Starbucks for more than 4 hours. If not because of the drama series, I would have done that. Came back, taken shower, rest and enjoy my TV. About 8pm, my stomach started to feel pain and I’ve been going in and out of toilet for 4 times in less than 2 hours. I can say that the whole night, I lie down on my bed and pray that God will heal me because my stomach is really pain. I slept at 11.30pm because of the pain but this nap doesn’t last long. About 1am, I woke up and went into the wash room again for 2 times in less than half an hour. This show that, I went in and out for 6 times for the whole night. This is suffering…. The only thing that I can do is to pray for healing because it’s late at night and I’m alone. I have no idea where should I find medicine for my stomach. I prayed, and continue to sleep.
**End of second day’s breakthrough**
Breakthrough (28.03.07-First Day)
The clock showed 4.17pm. I asked myself, how do I feel? Going to a trip alone, taking bus alone…. Well, my feeling is ok. I manage to borrow an mp3 player from a dear friend of mine, (Thank you dear) so that my trip will be filled with music.
Ok…My journey started. Last night before I sleep, I have this conversation with Grace. I said that will it be nice if I meet my prince in this trip because that’s normally showed in movies when they went for a vacation alone. I hope that I can meet my prince too (Of course that is not my motive, I’m just joking with her.)
Honestly, I expect to meet him if it’s God permission. With a heart of expectation, expect that I’ll sit with a good looking guy but end up sitting with an uncle that are friendly enough to make friends with this Malay guy next to him when he mistakenly took the Malay guy seat. So, their conversation last for half an hour. As for me, I pray that God are with me throughout this trip and this trip will be a breakthrough for me to find back my focus and direction and to draw closer to Him.
Around 5.45pm, I’ve reached the hotel that I’ve booked. It’s a small room and I don’t really like this hotel because it’s not as pretty as I thought. Overall, I still can accept it. I took my dinner, rest and watch TV for awhile. At 8pm, I prepare myself to go for a show called “Fly”. It’s one of the promotions that come together with the room package. So, with an excited heart I walked myself to First world hotel and take my free ticket. Low and behold, they required my ID card where by I didn’t carry it along with me. Without any choices, I have to walk all the way back to my hotel and get that ID card again. Frustrated……
About the show, of course I expected that it would be a nice show. I assume it’s some sort of musical drama that came along with a story. But who knows, this show is not my cup of tea. At the beginning, it’s very interesting but the longer the show continue, the more confuse I got. It’s neither a musical drama nor a concert. It’s more like a circus (without animal) plus magic show plus artistic dance and jump here and there and flying here and there. I don’t understand the whole story and I kept on falling asleep in the show. Hmmmm….. Interesting ha….
**I can only have such an expression for that show
It’s my first time I went to a show alone. Anyway, this whole trip is about breakthrough in being alone so everything I did, I did it alone. If you know me well, you will know that I don’t like to be alone. But this is what I always have to learn. That is to be alone, draw closer to God and experience breakthrough of being alone in my life.
Actually, this whole package thing is for two persons. When I check in into this room, breakfast is included for two and the show is for two. So, I have extra ticket for the breakfast and the show seat. One person holding two tickets it’s kind of weird. Everyone come with someone but I come with no one and yet I took two persons seat. I told myself that, it’s ok… I come with God.
About the prince that I mention earlier on, I really meet someone. But not my prince….. I meet this guy name Alvin and he is a tourist guide. As you know me, direction has always been a problem for me. As usual, friends around me will call me a dumb sheep that have no sense of direction but I can say that I am better than someone else. So, I have the problem of getting back to First world hotel after I took my ID card because I tried a new way instead of the dark and dangerous way. So, I try to get myself clearer by looking at the sign board, he came over and asked me, am I searching for First world hotel direction? I said, ya…. So, he showed me the way. We get to know each other while we were walking together to First World hotel.
**Malaysia do have friendly people
Later on, he asked me, where are my friends? I told him that I came here alone. He was like…. Ok!!! That is very brave of you to travel alone here. He commented me. As I thought about it myself, I am really brave….
After the show, I walked around in First World Hotel. Went in into the casino, would like to play but I totally have no idea how these kind of games work, so I just walk one round, bought myself a strawberry stick, and I went back to my room for a shower and rest.
That’s my first day for today. I have a good rest. Not so cold but just nice.
**First day of being alone**
Ok…My journey started. Last night before I sleep, I have this conversation with Grace. I said that will it be nice if I meet my prince in this trip because that’s normally showed in movies when they went for a vacation alone. I hope that I can meet my prince too (Of course that is not my motive, I’m just joking with her.)
Honestly, I expect to meet him if it’s God permission. With a heart of expectation, expect that I’ll sit with a good looking guy but end up sitting with an uncle that are friendly enough to make friends with this Malay guy next to him when he mistakenly took the Malay guy seat. So, their conversation last for half an hour. As for me, I pray that God are with me throughout this trip and this trip will be a breakthrough for me to find back my focus and direction and to draw closer to Him.
Around 5.45pm, I’ve reached the hotel that I’ve booked. It’s a small room and I don’t really like this hotel because it’s not as pretty as I thought. Overall, I still can accept it. I took my dinner, rest and watch TV for awhile. At 8pm, I prepare myself to go for a show called “Fly”. It’s one of the promotions that come together with the room package. So, with an excited heart I walked myself to First world hotel and take my free ticket. Low and behold, they required my ID card where by I didn’t carry it along with me. Without any choices, I have to walk all the way back to my hotel and get that ID card again. Frustrated……
About the show, of course I expected that it would be a nice show. I assume it’s some sort of musical drama that came along with a story. But who knows, this show is not my cup of tea. At the beginning, it’s very interesting but the longer the show continue, the more confuse I got. It’s neither a musical drama nor a concert. It’s more like a circus (without animal) plus magic show plus artistic dance and jump here and there and flying here and there. I don’t understand the whole story and I kept on falling asleep in the show. Hmmmm….. Interesting ha….**I can only have such an expression for that show
It’s my first time I went to a show alone. Anyway, this whole trip is about breakthrough in being alone so everything I did, I did it alone. If you know me well, you will know that I don’t like to be alone. But this is what I always have to learn. That is to be alone, draw closer to God and experience breakthrough of being alone in my life.
Actually, this whole package thing is for two persons. When I check in into this room, breakfast is included for two and the show is for two. So, I have extra ticket for the breakfast and the show seat. One person holding two tickets it’s kind of weird. Everyone come with someone but I come with no one and yet I took two persons seat. I told myself that, it’s ok… I come with God.
About the prince that I mention earlier on, I really meet someone. But not my prince….. I meet this guy name Alvin and he is a tourist guide. As you know me, direction has always been a problem for me. As usual, friends around me will call me a dumb sheep that have no sense of direction but I can say that I am better than someone else. So, I have the problem of getting back to First world hotel after I took my ID card because I tried a new way instead of the dark and dangerous way. So, I try to get myself clearer by looking at the sign board, he came over and asked me, am I searching for First world hotel direction? I said, ya…. So, he showed me the way. We get to know each other while we were walking together to First World hotel.
**Malaysia do have friendly people
Later on, he asked me, where are my friends? I told him that I came here alone. He was like…. Ok!!! That is very brave of you to travel alone here. He commented me. As I thought about it myself, I am really brave….
After the show, I walked around in First World Hotel. Went in into the casino, would like to play but I totally have no idea how these kind of games work, so I just walk one round, bought myself a strawberry stick, and I went back to my room for a shower and rest.
That’s my first day for today. I have a good rest. Not so cold but just nice.
**First day of being alone**
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