Friday, October 19, 2007


I believe that everyone hate changes. No matter small changes or big changes, we just hate it. Change of plan, change of lifestyle, change of practice culture, and change of anything… I hate it.

Recently, I’ve been through another transition period again. I hate transition period but out of control, I just have to face it because with all these kind of transition moment, I learned to be a better person, a stronger person and a mature person.

Life has been different since a bigger us separate into a smaller us. Life has been different; circle of friends has been different, focus has been different. The way of sharing has been dissimilar as well. Hmm… should I say expected? If I’ve not expected, I wonder why I cried so hard last time?

I believe that one of the tough things that people will agreed with me is to maintain certain thing or certain relationship. Maintaining is tough. To keep everything warm and just as the way it is is tough. Anyhow, this is not one-way street and we are not living in as island all by ourselves. We’re living in a world filled with special people – special people that are so unique that ones you lost it, you will never find them back. Everything comes with two ways. Give and take.

I tried so hard to keep things the way it is and to keep everything and everyone warm. But last night, I realize that I’m only an ordinary lady living in an ordinary room with an ordinary lifestyle together with my ordinary boyfriend worshipping our extraordinary God. Yes, I did mention that everyone is special. I didn’t say I’m not special. I am special too and so as my boyfriend.

What I wanted to say is that, I’m tired because I’m just a human. Trying to stop everything is really out of my ability. It’s like, me… just a small me trying to stop the world from turning. This is impossible.

Last night, I realize that I am weak again. That I need my strong God and I need Him to be magnify. Be magnify my Lord, that I can overcome this transition period and I able to see you again.

An interesting book of life that closing a chapter soon and will open another chapter again. May God be with me.


Today's prayer

Lord, grant me grace throughout this day
To walk the straight and narrow way,
To do whatever in Thy sight
Is good and perfect, just and right.

**Today's prayer**

Sunday, October 14, 2007

My Raya days…

Selamat Hari Raya for those who celebrate their Raya and happy holidays for those who celebrate holidays. I’m the one that celebrate the holidays. Well, holidays suppose to be a fun and excited moment for working people. I look forward to these days so much. If I’m not mistaken, I started to plan this coming holidays around June 07. Low and behold, I spend most of my holidays at home. House mate went back to hometown, boyfriend working, best friend busy accompany someone else….

Last Friday, my company gave us bonus leave. So, I have one day bonus leave. From Friday onward, I started to stay at home till today. It’s bored but interestingly, I almost manage to finish 40 episode hong kong drama series. With nothing to do at home, I guess watch drama is something that I can do and I can learn from.

About this drama series, it’s about a big family that is so rich. As normal story line, rich family will always have two wives. One is a kind wife, while the other one is an evil wife. Like always, the evil one is always the one with many plans that try to take all the family properties.

With this kind of storyline, there are lots of morals and things that can reflect in our life so that we can learn. As for me, there are several things that I will thank God for after I watched this drama series.

Thank God that I am not from a rich family. With all the wealth, many problems will occurs. I thank God that I don’t have a rich family boyfriend too. With great wealth, always come great responsibilities. That is why, God is always fair.

Anyhow, that’s my few days holiday. A bit boring, lots of waiting, lots of watching hong kong drama series and spend some time with God. That’s my Raya days…

**My days**

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


God You make me smile (Hillsong kids)

Verse 1:
God You make me smile as I look to You
And I never thought life could be so cool
I'm so free to be me

Verse 2:
We're a generation who will live for You
Nothing's gonna stop us from loviong You
We believe in Jesus

Life is fun, and I'm so happy You're my friend and King

I raise my hands to praise Your Name
I am not ashamed, praise Your Name, Jesus

A very cute song. If you imagine all the kids sing this song with their cute expression, not only God make them smile, they make God smile too. It’s just so cute.

I like this song… Simple, meaningful and cute for kids.


Sunday, October 07, 2007

Faith like child

Many times in life, I forget how to trust fully and have faith like child. It always brings God a smile when kids prayed. From the below picture, I know why. Even I myself will also have a good laugh about how naïve and how true they are.

Being kids is always the best part in life. You don’t have to hide, don’t have to fake and no one will judge your motive because you’re just a kid. Being genuine is what kids will do.

Like I said, growing up is pain. There are many choices, many decisions to make. I pray for faith like child. For a child will trust fully and will not doubt because they know who loves them the most.

**Faith like child**


These two weeks, my time seems to be slow. I wonder why. Works still have loads and loads to do. Books still have tons and tons to read and the time seems to be slightly slower. I guess all the while, I’ve been waiting. Wait for someone to come home and to be with me, wait for myself to be happy, wait for time to get things done, wait for friends to have fellowship together, wait for financially to be staple and the lists goes on.

It’s always about choices… yes I know. I choose to be happy and I choose to be myself. In fact, I choose to become someone better. Better than myself. But recently, I feel that what I should do, I’ve did it. What’s next?

I don’t believe that life will stuck in some where and you started to ask what’s next. I guess, I started to realize it now and I started to ask, what’s next?

I know my next step and I’m walking my next step. The things that frustrated me the most I guess should be waiting. I wait and wait and wait. Wait for loves one, wait for future, wait for myself, and even wait for God. Now, I know what the true meaning of waiting is.

Do you have any idea what am I trying to said? When I read back…I don’t know what I want to express as well. But I know God understand how I feel. Everyday, I wait for Him, everyday, He shape me to become someone He want me to be. I guess now, I’m waiting for myself. So complicated and yet, writing it down is always the best choice.

May God help me to wait as I wait faithfully and patiently.

**Wait with faith**

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I’ve been lazy

I’ve been very lazy lately. Anyhow, no matter how lazy am I, I still clean my room twice a week. Well, I guess I am lazy in different area then.

I’m lazy to read books, lazy to sleep (sleep also lazy, what happen to me?), lazy to work, lazy to pray, lazy to talk, lazy to type blog, lazy to be hardworking and the lists goes on.

It’s been awhile that I left this blog of mine. Well, I guess after I finish typing all these lazy things out, I have to pick myself up again and work things out.

Today is 2nd October. Another 3 months, we’ll have another new year, 2008. I better prepare myself for 2008 coz I’m getting old. There is lots of stuff I want to do and I want to achieve. Weakness, lazy… May God have mercy on me and strengthen me again.