Wednesday, May 31, 2006

God is faithful

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord! I am free now, I have victory now. At last, I manage to pass my study and to move on with my life. It’s really an overwhelming joy that God pour down on me when I get to know my result. I shed tears of joy because for all these years, God is faithful. I truly understand the meaning of God is faithful. I tried all sort of ways just to get a pass for my studies. Whatever kinds of ways that you able to name it, I’ve already tried. My surrounding people pain for me as I go through this alone. But when I tell them that I’ve pass at last, some of them weep together with me because of the joy and victory from God. God is faithful and He is really faithful. For all these year, no matter what happen, I blame Him for not letting things to go the way I want it to be. God remain faithful, accept and love me for who am I.

If my life without God, I won’t be who I am today. From the whole process, I have to admit that sometimes, life is not about the result but it’s about the process. How we success is more important for the reason that through that process I learn to have a bigger faith and trust in God, learn that God is faithful and to remain strong and courage in the kingdom of God. It’s not easy to go through the whole course of remaining strong in God but God is there and He is with us.

Today, when I look back it reminds me, how weak am I and how strong God is to lead me though all the hardship and suffering. From time to time, I thought that I am the one that remain strong, but in reality I am nobody if without God. It’s another sign for me that I should keep on moving with my life and with my dreams for the Lord is with me.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Not my will, but Yours be Done!

It is a blessed weekend. I went to the Koinonia Camp that organized by my church. It was a great and fun camp with all these sense of humor people that I meet. I do enjoy a lot in that camp and I’ve learn a lot as well. The message from the speakers have enlarged my territory and set my concept and priority right again. I’ve learned so many things in this camp. Learn that not my will, but Yours be done. To surrender my all again to God without taking back anything but my whole life.

The past is a history and the future is a mystery. Last time, I choose to chase after my future, a heart that want to see my future picture clearer before I make each step of life. But now, I know that my future is in the Lord. I have my past and I use it to give me strength as I go through each new day and I look forward to my future for it will be fun, exciting and amazing. When we walk in a stress that the street light are not provided, we will find all sort of ways to have light so that every place will be clearer. But now, I only have a torch light that only can let me see my next day plan but not the future journey. It’s hard and pain when we have to surrender our all to Him, totally all.

Nonetheless, throughout the camp I have to set back my plans and to continue to have faith in God, to endure hardship and to make my dream come true. For the Lord is faithful, He is with me. I can do this.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Blessed Sunday

Yesterday, it was a wonderful day for me. I woke up 10.30am, settle down my thing and then I took lunch with my friends and boyfriend in SS15. After that, my boyfriend and I went to Power Centre in Damansara to walk around and to have a wonderful date there. We spent a wonderful time together. It’s been such a long time that we didn’t spent such an weekend together, walking around and spending time with one another because all these while, if he is not rushing his assignment, he’ll be rushing other things. It’s such a blessing yesterday that me and my boyfriend can spent the whole day together.

After walked around in Power Centre, we went home and have some nap before we went to Flora’s place for the steamboat to celebrate Chee Leong birthday and farewell Pei San. A lot of foods were prepared. In the beginning, the fellowship were little bit cold but the atmosphere turn to warm when every one of us try to have a fun time together.

After the warm dinner, we all continue to enjoy the night with playing snooker in club 7. the boys and Pei San play snooker while the girls were also having our fun playing a girl games called photo hunt. When I reach home, it’s 12.30 midnight. Wow, what a wonderful day I had. I spent the whole day with my boyfriend and my cell members.

I will miss a dear sister of mine. She is a very cute and funny person. But now, she has to further her future in another place. I’ll miss her so much. It’s weird to have this feeling again that people are leaving. No matter where we are, no matter we like it or not, people come and people go but they will always leave foot print in our heart. If we have the fate, we might meet again one day if not, we’ll have to meet again when we reach heaven. Isn’t good, that we still can meet when we reach to eternal life?

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Be grateful and live simple

Last Friday, I get to know that I got a second increment. Praise the Lord!!!~~ I got my first increment when my company confirmed me and that is a high increment. Although this time my increment are not so high but it is still a blessing from God. Thank God…

Actually the whole department got increment because this is what my lady boss promised to them but not me a few months ago because I just got my increment not long ago that time. My lady purposely freezes their increment and wants the whole department to show her that they can work and they deserve it. So, they don’t get increment in the early of the years where by a lot of department get theirs.

It should be good news but yesterday this good news suddenly turns into bad news. Two of my colleagues are not satisfied with their increment and they try to put negative and discourage words. When I try to turn discourage and negative word into positive, I realize that human nature are selfish. Human will always think about themselves first and will never get satisfy. I get very frustrated in human beings. I though myself, why can’t they live simple, and be grateful for what they have now instead of looking back, complaining, comparing, and discouraging one another? Isn’t that they should encourage one another in order to grow stronger?

Currently, I’ve just finish watching one drama series. I don’t know what title is it because it is written in Chinese but it’s about lawyer. Actually, being a lawyer is tough and it’s stressful. If a faithful Christian is not strong in his/her spiritual foundation, it will be easy for him/her to leave God and to be who he/she wants to be. But if the lawyer is a Godly lawyer, he/she might have self conflict. By the way, this drama series is meaningful. It reminds me again that life is fun, life is full of choices. There is a man in the drama series who is the leader of the family; he said in that movie, I can choice to be a happy and unhealthy person or healthy but unhappy person but as for him, he choice to be a happy and optimistic unhealthy person.

It is true in what he said, people that are rich doesn’t mean that they are happy while people that are poor seems to have more joy although they have worries in their mind. This movie again reminds me to be a positive person. To think positive and to act positive. In every circumstance, good and bad always come together and it is a challenge to keep positive and happy while things go the other way round. In the movie, there is also one part that the daughter quarrels with her mother and talks something harsh about her father. Later, her father heard what their conversation said and the mother asked the father, am I doing the wrong thing? His father didn’t get upset or angry with the daughter but encourage his wife and saying that sometimes, what we gain is what we loss and what we loss might be what we gain. He turn the whole discourage word into a positive and strong word. He said that, if not because he heard it from her daughter, he won’t realize that his wife is such a wonderful person that support him no matter what happen. In another way, he gets the reminder from the argument.

Would it be good if people will get as positive as he? Maybe you can say that most of the movies are to cheat people and to get people into their fantasy world and to relax. But as for me, this movie didn’t bring me into my fantasy world but it takes me back the importance of being an optimistic person. It is so true that, God give us free will choice where by we can choice to be happy, sad, negative or a positive person. To live simple or to live a life with all kinds of requirement and it will never be fulfilling. To be an easy to satisfied person or to be a person that never gets satisfied. Why don’t we leave simple, be grateful and get satisfy easily so that in another way round, we can be a positive and joyful person?

A person without God can be a happy and optimistic person, then a person that walk together with God are supposed to a joyful and full of courage each day to face the journey of life because we have the most important one in our life that is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. What else we want when we already have the Lord?

In people's shoes

Again, it’s been another two weeks that I didn’t drop some line to my blog. Hmmm…what have I been doing this past two weeks? Well, some people will agree if I said that I have short term memory lost because sometimes, I really forgot things too fast. If you ask me, what I wore to work yesterday, I will need 5 minute to think so that I can answer you correctly. But I always told my friend that my brain has less space but it’s actually an excuse. Hihihhi…

Well, let me see. On the second Sunday of May, it’s Mother’s Day. I miss my mom. I called her to greet her Happy Mother’s Day and she was happy. I know she miss us a lot too and she will be happier if we can celebrate Mother’s Day with her. I wish I could, but distance and time that keep us apart. I still remember vividly that when I was a kid, I wish to bring my parents to travel around when have that ability. I’m working now, and yet I can’t fulfill my wish. I only can pray now that God will bless me more, that I can bring my parent to travel around. They work so hard and earn so hard for me, I should do the same for them. Although in term of financially, they didn’t really give me much but they are trying to give me what they can afford and yet it is the best for me. I love them so much and I know that God will take care of them too.

As for the third week of May, I offer myself to help my boyfriend to do one of his documentation report that need to be submit on the coming Thursday and because he use less time to sleep. I do have some idea about the topic that I need to write because previously, I did some research for him as well.

In the beginning, I told him what make you so suffer? Documentation only… is like a piece of cake. Collect all your information, then try to use your own word then compile in it. But when I started to do the report, I realize that things are not as easy as I thought. From there, God want me to learn that, don’t ever judge people when we are not in the situation because we don’t know how stress or how difficult it is for certain people. I have to think about the report for 3 days, sleep late just in order I can finish it on time for him, get stress, get frustrated easily and it’s like a nightmare to me that keep on haunting me although I’m working. I have no idea how he been through this kind of suffering for one whole year. Now, I know how stress he is and I should be more understand his situation instead of wanting him to understand me more. Relationship is really a two ways street. It should come from both sides. Both sides also have to tolerant, understanding, and love each other in return. If only one person love while the other person received, it would be an unhealthy relationship and could cause sad ending.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Blessing from above~

At last, my exams are over… I can breath now because burden no more. Although there are still some, but at least it’s lighter. Hihihihihih…

Last week, I experience a wonderful blessing from God. My cell group blesses me with sponsoring half amount of the coming koinonia camp in our church. I felt so touch and so happy not because of the amount of money that they gave me, but the heart that they have for me. I really feel blessed although I have no idea where to find the other half figure to pay up but I do feel glad and grateful. The Lord is a good God. He knows my need.

Beside that, I also experience God’s love and blessing yesterday. Yesterday, I took half day leave to study because of time consuming. But I didn’t study at home, but I studied in my office because the environments are cold and less entertainment for me to enjoy. So, I thought that I can concentrate more there. While I was studying there, my superior told me that my lady boss will not deduct my half day leave and consider me as working. She allowed me to study there and consider me as working. It’s like giving me a kindness leave. Wah…. I felt so blessed and I thank God for His blessing.

When I look back, although it is only a small thing like small amount of money and only half day leave, but I really felt happy and grateful. Then, I thought myself, am I too easy to satisfy? Another voice in my head told me that easy satisfy people will get happiness in their life. Other than that, I learn that God really know my needs. He know what is the best for me, He know what suit me, and most of all He know me.

If God gave me something more than that, it might destroy my life. I might have pride, abuse God’s word and misuse His grace. I might begin to take things for granted and have the wrong concept of blessing. God is justice and God is always good. From small things like this, I get to know God more and more.

Today I drive myself to Taman Jaya LRT Station so that I can take LRT to college for my exam. It’s also another break through for me because I drive alone to one place that I only been through several times. From driving to Taman Jaya and back from there, I can see how God protect me and He listens to my prayer. Lord, indeed you are a good God. Even through I complained, but God is still here for me. Blessed me.