For the past two weeks, I’ve been spending most of my time talking and chatting with my friends. Not only talking, but eating, and have a wonderful time to fellowship with one another and taking cute picture of each others. Weight started to gain back, money gone faster and faster. What to do, to have good friendship, sometimes we have to give up certain things. I spent most of my time with friend from other building, friend from other country that came back for holiday, friend that leave with me, and friends in my church.
As the conversation goes, I start to realize something different. Everyone came out from a different background, different lifestyle and even different point of view and culture. Some of them are so “China” type. Can be called a typical Chinese girl that follows the Chinese culture and principle. Some came from an open-minded family, with little bit of western point of view but holding Asian principle.
But when come to one point, everyone is the same. We are sinner and the best thing a sinner can do is to sin against God. Every human being tried very hard to find someone out there to support in their point of view in order for them to continue with their life. Wrong or right, we do need someone to support us with the same perspective. If one person did something so terrible, he/she will find friends that use to be in the same situation that will understand them and will support them by saying, “this is not your fault, it’s the society fault” or “yes, you are right, they should understand your situation”, all these kinds of word to affirm he/she. And with that word of affirmation, the person will felt that there is someone behind his/her back to support him/her.
Like what I use to say and always said, everything comes with good and bad. But sometimes, we just like to lie to ourselves saying that everything will be ok when things seems to be not ok. Other thought will come out, "after all, not I’m the one who make a mistake on my first step". When judgment comes, all human kind will start to blame. Blame everyone, everything, anything and anywhere but not himself/herself. All these kind of sinful act are human natures. Human natures are bad, evil and wicked. When we used to be a kid, we don’t need anyone to teach us to be greed, selfish, jealous with our siblings when parents’ attention is not on us, and to lie to mom and dad. But all these kinds of thought came very automatically and very fast. Don't even need to go to a school to learn all these kind of stuff.
Most of the people agreed that, every one of us has an angel and a demon inside of us. It depends on which one we tame it. If we use to train up to be an evil person, naturally the angel inside of us will become smaller and smaller each day. If we taught to be a kind-hearted person when we still a baby, our growing habit will be fine. To always kill our own desire and to submit our desire to God is never an easy stuff to do. That’s why we need God. Only when we fear God, the obedience side of us will have appeared on the surface of us. Lord, teach me to fear you more than man.
