Am i still ok?

I have no idea. Everyday I wake up it’s like dragging a dead body walking around without direction, without purpose, without meaning… Am I still ok?

Every songs that I listened, seems doesn’t pleased to my ears. Every thing that I do seems never going to end. Things are still the way they are and I am still standing on the spot where I am standing. Am I still ok?

Out of the blue, I will have difficulties in breathing. It’s like a big stone pressing on my lungs that I can’t breathe well and I have to take a big breath in order for me to take another breathe. Am I still ok?

All of a sudden, tears will drop down from my cheek; my emotion will control the nights and tears will lead me to my rest. Am I still ok?

Laughter and smiling face are with me, but my heart is in pain and in confuse. What do I want? What do You want? Where am I heading? Could I just go? Am I alone? Am I thinking too much? What have gone into me? Am I still ok?

Thousands and thousands questions pondering around my heart… I wish to stop this feeling, stop these questions, stop this sadness… but I just couldn’t find my secure, couldn’t find my answer, and couldn’t find my peace and direction. Am I still ok?

I am so lost… so confuse… so heavy… so breathless… so clueless… so unhappy. Please bear with me if you are around me. I need support and encouragement.

**Clueless**