Sometimes…

Sometimes, we expected too much. I expected too much that when a thing doesn’t go the way I want, I get frustrated. Today is my boyfriend birthday, but we celebrated it last night because tonight we have cell group. So, what happened last night was, I planned the whole thing two weeks before yesterday came. Places have decided, budget has prepared, and clothing has been chosen, together with the jewelry and high heel. I get some help from my housemate as well and people opinions about the most romantic places. Everything seems to be good and I prayed too that it would be excited and fun. Before I dress up, I felt so excited and I called my boyfriend asked him what time he will reach here. He answered me with an exhausted tone and kind of like moody tone. I ask him, what have happened? He said nothing, just felt a bit bored and tired.

My mood went down and while I was preparing myself, I keep on praying and beg God that He can give us a wonderful time and quality to spend together. Not long later, we get in the car and our night began. His main requirement was “class” atmosphere, so I suggested him to drive to Mount Kiara and have a look. So, we drove there. That place was nice but pack with cars and people. We can’t find one empty space to park our car. Nonetheless, we decided to go to Bangsar and dine in there. Seems like things doesn’t come the way we expected. We got trap inside the jam for hours and we got lost. Boiling water keeps coming out from him and me. Both of us have a small quarrel and we cool down for hours as well in the middle of the jam.

At last, we end up in pizza hut. Can you imagine me wearing evening gown and my high heel and jewelry everything, dine in pizza hut. I’m not saying pizza hut is bad, the food was nice just that I never expected myself wearing like this eating in pizza hut. I get frustrated and I don’t have the appetite to eat anymore.

Both of us didn’t talk, and the atmosphere is cold. Everything seems to be cold. To make the whole thing short, I make a deal with him. If he dares to do my requirement, I’ll follow his car home. If he dare not, then I’ll stay there as long as I want. He struggle and struggle, at last he did it and I manage to come home safely.

From the whole night of this so-called “celebrating birthday” is really terrible. Get stuck in the jam, got quarrel with your most love, eat fast food and have to do sometimes that is so hard and it take hours to decided. This is not what I expected nor I pray for. When we were in the cold war that time, my mind can go so negative until one stage that I maybe I should just stop this journey. Even my boyfriend has the same thought as me.

Sometimes, what we want doesn’t mean what we’ll get but God know us best and he will give what is the best for us. From last night, my boyfriend and I do learn things about us. Everyone is stubborn and that is true, stubborn with standing too strong in your point is a bad thing. I learn that, pride can destroy relationship too. When come to the one that you love the most, sometimes we forgot how to appreciate one another and forgot about each other kindness. Last night, I choose to keep myself silent and he keeps quiet too. So, both of us have a “silent competition”. You don’t want to talk, fine by me. I don’t talk too. When we reach pizza, I don’t eat and he didn’t eat too. So, we have another “not eating” competition. The stubborn inside of us keep on going and going together with the pride that compete a win and lose game. Sooner or later, we have a confrontation but things become worst. If both of us don’t humble down and apologize, I think we’ll end up walking our own ways than still holding hands and walk together.

Stubborn could destroy, and this is so true. To humble down and tear down the pride is tough. But, if each couple also wants to win, then many will end up regretting and heart broken. I didn’t pray for this, but I get this. I can choose to think that God is ridiculous, but I choose to learn from the whole thing and turn this to an understanding process. After all, it all depends on how we want it to be.

Finally, would like to say Happy Birthday to my most love. May God continue to be the centre of this relationship and may death do us part.