Happy for them

Today I got a news whereby I think that I never want to know this news and I am afraid of what I will react to it when I know it. Today, an old friend of mine telling me the news that I never want to know. Well, not to said never want to know coz at the end of the days, I will still know but I rather not to know, like what I said, I don't know how will I feel and what will I react.

I go through the thought of how will I react when I get to know it. Maybe I'll get shock and not saying a word. Or maybe I will get very angry. Or maybe I will get back the same old hurt that kept haunting me when I thought I am ok with it.

Until today, I realize that I am ok. Ok with the news and not only ok but I am happy for them. It's kinda weird for me to realize that I am really that ok with it. I think and think, am I really ok? Then I relax myself to think again. I am ok and sincerely felt happy for him. I've lost count the days we separated after I focus on the moving on life. I guess when I count back, it's been 2 years plus. (I have to ask my best friend to double confirm the year… I guess I really forgot about it).

Some people will say that memories are the hardest thing you want to forget. Well, I will say, it's up to you to want to let it go and choose to forget or not. After all, it's your choice. It took me quite sometime to slowly let the memories fade away. I won't said that I forgot the pain but I am proud of myself that I almost forgot every important moment that we had and create new memories for my life now. I guess busy life do help. Other than trying hard to maintain the long distance relationship, I tried to settle down my emotions and lifestyle here. With those help, I almost forgot things what we used to have but to focus on what I am having now and trying to work things out.

2 years…. Wow… Now I realize that I really seldom think about him. Today's news leads me to think again about him. Not really about him that him but about me handling the past. I can say that I am fine, happy for them and I know what the best is for me now. I am happy with the decision that he made in the past although lots of pain and tears but those days lead me stronger and closer to God. Not only so, but I found the one I ever want, I ever prayed and I ever dreamed of. Till then, my journey with him ends without my realization.

** Happy for them **