Complicated feelings

Ha chu…. Sneezing… I got flu again. A terrible one…

It’s almost 2 am now and I’m still here. Trying to put some words here before I go to rest. My dear housemate has left me with an empty room. How do I feel? I feel a bit weird… complicated feeling.

I’ve been living with her for almost past 2 years. She has been an encourager for me so as a frustrated person for me. Sometimes she treat me like a princess and sometimes she drives me crazy. There is a period of life where she holds on to my hand and we walk together when both of us in pain. The same goes to the time when both of us quarrel for disagreement in discussed issue. Both of us going through joy and sorrow in life, so as bad and good times when either one of us will give cold shoulder when we feel like it. I’ve learned how to admit my fault in front of her and I’ve learned how to accept rebuke and critics from her as well. With the lesson of admitting my own wrong and accepting rebuke taught me to be a person that will face problems and not running away from it. With this, I learn to admit and accept in front of everybody else.

It’s been a blessing that God sent her to be in my life. To accompany to walk through my life darkest time and still love and accept me as whom I am when she knows the ugliest side of me. Not every housemate can do that but God is always good. He knows what He’s doing and God will always send the right person to walk with you.

Now that I’ve grow stronger, the journey I will have to continue with God alone. I would like to let her know how much I cherish the time we spent together last time and how much she has became a blessing in my life, no matter financially, materially or spiritually. She has became an impact in my life and a prayer warrior for me. I know I can always count on her when I just need a shoulder, a hand or an ear. Although she is not perfect, but I love her for whom she is. Goodbye my dear… It’s a joy that we one’s spent the moment together. Although things might not be the same anymore, but it kept inside my heart and it’s in the “count of blessing” list.

**Complicated feelings**