Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The injury

As I mention from the pervious post, I hurt myself when I first try out to be a motorbike passenger. My leg has accidentally touched the motorbike exhausts and you know what happen….

At first, I thought it should be ok. So, I didn’t apply anything on it until the next day when I show it to my colleague and they advice me to apply something coz it got dark and red. 3 days later, it becomes swollen and there is water inside. I took picture of it coz I think it look cute. People around me saw it and some of them feel so pain for me while some feel so yucky to touch it. It’s not that pain, trust me. I really think it look cute coz I never experience such an incident before.

A week has pass, and it got worst. The water has come out while I was sleeping and it got itchy. The previous skin need to be cut out and it need to wrap so that it won’t get affected. So yesterday onward, I need to go to clinic everyday for the nursing just to make sure that bacteria won’t affect it. Thank God that it’s a panel clinic from my company. If not, I guess I have to pay more than I expect just to get my leg healed.

The way I walk now it’s a bit weird and it started to get really pain. I get sore throat and flu as well. I pray that I’ll recover from all these before I go back to Sabah for Chinese New Year.

May God’s healing be with me.

A serious injury in the first months of the year 2008 so as an experience that I never had before.

**The Injury**

Friday, January 25, 2008


I just cannot believe that I’m still in the office right now. Normally, 5.15pm I will start to say bye bye to my colleague so as my bosses. But right now, everyone said bye to me and I’m being left alone here trying to finish up my stuff (I still take a few minutes to drop something down).

Working life is tired. I means really tired…should I say becoming human is tired? It’s up to each individual definition I guessed.

Work will never finish. I guessed it would finish when you quit your job. Just now, I was in a meeting. I discovered another human nature reaction that will cause me to think about this whole human nature / sinful act. When my boss started to praise one of my colleague, another colleague of mine will join in and said along that, yeah… I have contribution too. “WE” all did it… Nice to hear, right?

When my boss started to scold, blame session will start to occur. Some said, he is the one that didn’t pass me the latest information, site people is the one to blame, I’m not responsible and the blaming continues as usual.

As for me, I’ll just sit there silently and oversees the whole session begins. I’m not saying that I’m so good that I didn’t blame. I did. Anyway, I’m still human. In that meeting, I just learn that when someone else rebukes me, I’ll learn to calm myself down to listen and to think. If it’s really my fault, I’ll learn to admit and not trying to throw responsibilities away.

Blaming is a very natural reaction. You don’t have to think. It’s like your reflect. When you hold something hot, you’ll throw it away in less than one second without thinking. I guessed that’s the same case when come to blaming. You don’t have to think. Just point it and throw it to someone else will do. What an easy task.

Learn to be more like Christ, is always the toughest journey. Nevertheless, I know I’m not alone.

A short reminder for myself, to not to blame but learns to bear and admit.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A thought from a friend

The sky turn dark, thunder sound and the wind started to blow windy while I’m still rushing at my routine job in the office yesterday before the clock tick to 5pm. When the time reaches 5pm… my heart no longer stay in the office. I want to go home… screamed out loud

Since it’s still raining, I just browse through my friends’ blog and read about her day. Everyday I’ll click on her blog to get her latest update and to get her latest information. I just like to read someone else journey of life to reflect myself on certain things.

She started to share about her grown up, her expectation and people’s expectation toward her. The more I read about her thought, I have this thought about her and about the about myself.

After finish my reading, I decided to have a walk back home under the rain. Normally, I took 15 to 20 minutes to walked back to my place but yesterday; I took 30 minutes to reach home. I walked slowly to think about what she wrote and about people’s expectation. I asked myself, have I ever expect something from someone without my conscious? I guess I did. If not, it won’t disturb my emotion.

Expectation… since I have it with someone I guessed that someone will do have the same expectation from me. Did I manage to fulfill what they expect? Who am I to expect what I should get from them? Why will I expect? And the question goes on….

God made us to hunger for love, care and attention. Sometimes, without my realization, I crave for people to love me, to praise me, to care for me and to have their attention on me. I guessed this is why I will shed my tears when I didn’t get what I expect. After all, no one can totally know what your expectation.

With this conclusion, I started to thank God and ask Him to guide my heart. To set my concept right about God’s blessing and to count my blessing and to give Him praises.

Walking back alone with an umbrella is not a bad experience after all. At least, I’m walking with my Nike slipper and it’s comfortable. With a grateful heart, I found reason to give thanks although the sky seems dark and rains drop down from heaven. With this, I learn to give thanks although things don’t come my way.


On the same day, I experience two different things that I never plan to do. Other than walked myself home under the rain, I get to ride motorcycle all the way from Sunway to Cheras for about 45 minutes. A terrified experience, but I have fun. Get myself a minor injure but I manage to show my love is more than words and to be there whenever I can.

** My thought**

Monday, January 07, 2008


I’ve been living without Internet for several days now. Life still goes on…

I’ve been down these two days. Maybe period came earlier than expected. Tears shed non-stop and for no reason. I just cried for the sake of crying. Why? Coz I feel like crying, so I did. Ya, I know it’s a bit silly but if I don’t cry when I feel like crying, I guess that’s sillier. I just wanted to express something that word cannot said whereby tears can help me to tell.

My best friend once said that tears are the gift from God. It’s amazing, isn’t it? ? You cry when you feel pain. You cry when you feel sick. You cry when you feel touch. You cry when you feel happy. Crying is not a big deal after all. You just let it out when you feel like it.

I do agree that guys scared when ladies cry. That work very quite well with Danny. Not trying to take things for granted but I just wanted to express when I have no word but tears.

** Tears **

Friday, January 04, 2008

Complicated feelings

Ha chu…. Sneezing… I got flu again. A terrible one…

It’s almost 2 am now and I’m still here. Trying to put some words here before I go to rest. My dear housemate has left me with an empty room. How do I feel? I feel a bit weird… complicated feeling.

I’ve been living with her for almost past 2 years. She has been an encourager for me so as a frustrated person for me. Sometimes she treat me like a princess and sometimes she drives me crazy. There is a period of life where she holds on to my hand and we walk together when both of us in pain. The same goes to the time when both of us quarrel for disagreement in discussed issue. Both of us going through joy and sorrow in life, so as bad and good times when either one of us will give cold shoulder when we feel like it. I’ve learned how to admit my fault in front of her and I’ve learned how to accept rebuke and critics from her as well. With the lesson of admitting my own wrong and accepting rebuke taught me to be a person that will face problems and not running away from it. With this, I learn to admit and accept in front of everybody else.

It’s been a blessing that God sent her to be in my life. To accompany to walk through my life darkest time and still love and accept me as whom I am when she knows the ugliest side of me. Not every housemate can do that but God is always good. He knows what He’s doing and God will always send the right person to walk with you.

Now that I’ve grow stronger, the journey I will have to continue with God alone. I would like to let her know how much I cherish the time we spent together last time and how much she has became a blessing in my life, no matter financially, materially or spiritually. She has became an impact in my life and a prayer warrior for me. I know I can always count on her when I just need a shoulder, a hand or an ear. Although she is not perfect, but I love her for whom she is. Goodbye my dear… It’s a joy that we one’s spent the moment together. Although things might not be the same anymore, but it kept inside my heart and it’s in the “count of blessing” list.

**Complicated feelings**

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Memorable New Year eve

Before I start anything about New Year… let me share what we’ve did on the New Year eve.

Danny and I plan a small party in our new church with lots of foods. We have some crazy game on to pass the time and everyone laugh like mad on that night. We all have fun and enjoy being with one another.
After a long and tired of laughing games, everyone prepare themselves for fireworks.

A memorable New Year eve and it’s a blessing that we can be with one another, spent some time together and laugh crazily.

**Memorable new year eve**