What a life

Yesterday, my housemate, sister and I went for a jogging in the park near by our apartment. It is a wonderful park, filled with kids, couple, and also family. The main reason that we went to that jogging because my housemate want to release stress in her working place and so as her personal stuff that bother her a lot. So we have a wonderful time together although we run our own way. In Christian journey, we do have our own way to run for God. Ways are different but the joy of serving God together is always there. When I fall down, someone will be there to pick me up. When she lost her strength, I’ll give her courage to continue to seek God.

As I was jogging alone in that park, I start to think and ask myself. Why am I doing here since I hate to jog, it’s tiring me and I’ll get body ache the next day after this. But there is only one reason that keeps me on running that is for the kingdom of God. I jog and hope that I can be healthy and slim to do what God has His purpose in me. At the first place, people will look at me like I am some kind of the weirdo, later on I don’t care what people said, don’t care how people look at me but I continue to run to achieve my dreams. It goes the same if we apply to our daily life. If we care what people think and how they look at us, we will never be success because there are a millions of people around us with different opinions. How are we going to satisfied each of them?

I kept on thinking while I’m running and when I get tired I slow down. Currently, I stop dancing for God in my church because of the same thing as jogging. When I get tired, I need a rest to refresh and find back my motivation about dancing my very best to God. When I get back my energy, it will be another race to run for God.


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Just now I went to music team as usual like what we all did every Tuesday. One sister told me that she willing to give me a hand in the short of dancer situation. I should be glad and feel blessed but my feeling turn another way. When she explain to me what she was thinking, I try my very best to explain to her what I want also. But what I told her doesn’t seem like what I want. I started to get worry. What is happening with me? I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what to say. So, we end the discussion up with telling her that I need more time to think and consider about the whole thing.

Actually, it is a very simple thing. I don’t know what happen to me that I suddenly don’t know what I want for this ministry. I started to struggle.

Not only about my serving in the church, sometimes I don’t know what I want in choosing food, cloth or even small decision that shouldn’t be a problem for me. Is it because that I want the best for every little thing? Couldn’t get the answer either but have decided to go to bath now and think about it later.