Challenging...

Yesterday was a day full of challenge for me. I don’t have enough time to drop down what had happened yesterday, so I have to write it down today.

I got to know my result in the morning around 10.30pm. After I know my result, it’s again another difficult thing for me to accept and to repeat what I use to repeat it again. I ask God and even scolded God saying that what else? What else you want from me? Do you have any idea how hurt am I? Do you know the pain inside me? My emotions make me lost my direction and hope my hope and trust in God. Within that half an hour later, I confess to God saying that I am sorry for complaining and blaming on you for this. In fact, I know there are more than what I expect God will use in me as I prayer for this year is ‘Use me Oh Lord’.

I started to pick myself up again and keep my trust and hope in God again. It’s tough, it pain but what else can I do? People surround me went speechless when I told them that I didn’t manage to get a pass AGAIN. They have no idea how to encourage me and have no idea what should they said so that I will not stop giving up. Even my very best friend saw me fall and stand up AGAIN and AGAIN.

When I let my cell group know that it’s been another failure again, all they can say is to pray for me. From yesterday, I get to know that no one can help me anymore. No word from them to encourage me and they have no idea how pain am I now. But only God know because every failure, He was there.

The title for today daily bread is The Good that Pain can do. Hmm…it go well with me and I can again reminds me that I am here for a reason, God have His Will and Ways for me. All I can do now is to set my focus right again and continue to trust and have faith in God. The process is tough but the result will be excellent. Difficult lesson but powerful testimony.


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Around evening time, my colleague and I went to Mc Donald not for dinner but to know deeper about a part time job that we are interested about. It’s about investment and convincing people to invest into their fund. Sound interesting and can earn a lot but everything come with good and bad, so from the good part, there are also a tough part. The product itself is a very good product. I personally have no worries about the product. When I reach home, I discussed this with my boyfriend and my housemate; they also said that investment is good. At the same time, they also pop up a very good question for me, where do I get my target audience?

The question that my housemate gave me is very true. She makes me think that it’s even tougher than I can imagine now. It’s all about yourself and winning the inside you. Throwing the pride in you, begging, doing non-stop research, and paying extra time and effort just for a better pay.
After spent some time discussion about this part time job, I wonder do people invest their money into all these kind of fund? A few thousand of hard work money and then hand it into one investor consultant. As for me, can I trust that consultant? What make me trust him/her? Same goes to me when I really take up this challenge. What make people trust me with that much money they have hard earn? Investment do have earn and lost. If they lose their money, the trust that I earn from them last time totally gone. Some more my name are worst than shit. My name worst than a shit should be not big problem but what if it interrupt the name of Christianity?

Another thing that worry me a lot is that, do I have enough time for all these training, appointments, and meeting up? How about my serving? How about God? Am I getting too much of all these negative thought? All these are really the fact that we should consider really well before we commit ourselves into other commitment.

This job come with advantages too I believe. My life is not about myself and it’s no longer belongs to me. It belongs to God. Before I make any stupid choices, better pray about it first. If anyone of you planned before to invest your money to all kind of fund and have faith in investment, please let me know. Thanks